According to the Wiki

Album cover art for "According to the Wiki" by Jared Loftin

Jared Loftin - Pop, Off-Broadway

According to the Wiki

0 Plays

Duration: 3:02

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Lyrics

[RYAN, spoken] Ooh. There's a wiki on the myth of Dentata. Okay. Well, let's take a look [RYAN] According to the wiki Dentata is a goddess who beats Genesis By 10,000 years According to the wiki Her name just means teeth She's at the heart of mens emasculation fears Hidden in her labia Fangs like drac With an appetite for penis as a midnight snack They're a feminine protection From a masculine attack According to the wiki [BRAD, spoken] Truthseekers near and far! Do you feel me?! [TRUTHSEEKERS] We feel you, Truthseeker! [BRAD, spoken] Behold what I have learned about the leader of the feminocracy [BRAD] According to the wiki Dentata was relentless in her butchering Of everything male According to the wiki Wherever she went Dentata left a gruesome, bloody, phallic trail [TRUTHSEEKER #3] Dawn has now embodied her with great skill [TRUTHSEEKER #1] Dentata reborn against mans will [BRAD] Soon she'll build herself an army And one by one they'll kill [BRAD & TRUTHSEEKERS] According to the wiki [BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS] Until there is a hero A most unlikely hero who comes to town To break the spell [BRAD] With the power to dismember [RYAN] With the power in his member [BRAD] To break the teeth and send them on a One way back to hell [RYAN] And only he of purity can see This mission through [BRAD] To be that man we have to plan Essentially a coup [BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS] And only he of purity can see This mission through To be that man we have to plan 'Cause that's what heroes do [RYAN & BRAD] According to the wiki The hero is a man Of noble character And courage galore [BRAD] I've never been the hero [RYAN] I've never been the guy who saves the day Just the sodomite next door! [BRAD] Yes they could dismember me [RYAN] I could die [BRAD] But the win is worth the risk and so we have to try [RYAN] And doing this will help Dawn too That's always been the goal [BRAD] She's a vaginal black hole That's just a body with no soul [BRAD, RYAN & TRUTHSEEKERS] She just needs a man who can bring Her body under his control According to the wiki!

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Credits

Writers
  • Anna K. Jacobs
  • Michael R. Jackson