I Hate My Roommate

Lyrics

[Intro, Whitney Peyton and Ileigha Kohoutek] *Phone rings* Hello? Heeey Whit! So, I know you're all working late, but on your way home if you could get me some milk, uhm, some cream for my coffee... I like 2% milk if you can get hold that's fine but I actually like soy that would be great. I also need some condoms, if you could just do that for me that would be so awesome. Thanks so much, byeee Da fuck? [Verse 1] Listen, every day I wake up I wish I missed your ad on Craigslist Now I'm stuck with you and your boyfriend too Bitch, don't make me get violent Where are my leftovers? I put them in the fridge last night (Da fuck) Next to the milk on the shelf by the right Then I woke up late with an appetite To find - you ate that shit? Partyfowl So I dumped all your Bacardi out All you do is drink And you never clean And you never even try to take the garbage out I think our neighbours hate us And I know why You had a party last night, and then threw up outside (Ew) [Chorus] Dear Roomie I really hate your guts You leave a bunch of shit around And never pick it up And your boyfriend, boyfriend I won't even pretend That I like that guy He eats my food and doesn't pay the rent (Fuck that) [Bridge] (Mo-mo-move out) Move out! (Mo-mo-move out) You gotta go! (Mo-mo-move out) Leave! (Mo-mo-move out) Bitch, please [Verse 2] In my room tryna study for a test But I can't really do it 'cause You're fucking having sex so loud And the landlord sent me twenty texts, I Wrote a check but you didn't pay the rent, bitch Ugh, I'mma choke you! When the lease ends, we are so through Take your man, take the cat, take the car and the ugly ass couch That shit gotta go too Ugh, you're in the bathroom - like all the time Taking fifty selfies, bitch You really ain't that fine I gotta pee Come on Yo, I really gotta go Don't you have a job? Okay, I'mma write a note There's something you gotta know [Chorus] Dear Roomie I really hate your guts You leave a bunch of shit around And never pick it up And your boyfriend, boyfriend I won't even pretend That I like that guy He eats my food and doesn't pay the rent (Fuck that) [Bridge] (Mo-mo-move out) Move out! (Mo-mo-move out) You gotta go! (Mo-mo-move out) Leave! (Mo-mo-move out) Bitch, please [Spoken Whitney Peyton and Ileigha Kohoutek] Look at this, this place looks horrible Ugh, are you kidding me? Fucking trash everywhere. Is that a... Shut the fuck up, you don't even know Is that a condom? Is that a used condom in the fucking bathtub? No it's not. It's probably from you last night Who the fuck has sex in the bathtub? You're 25! No, you don't even know what you're talking about. Shut up We all use this bathroom. This is not your personal bathroom, all right? I have to shower in this shower Don't even start with me, girlfriend I have to shower in this shower You don't even understand right now, okay [Chorus] Dear Roomie I really hate your guts You leave a bunch of shit around And never pick it up And your boyfriend, boyfriend I won't even pretend That I like that guy He eats my food and doesn't pay the rent (Fuck that) [Bridge] (Mo-mo-move out) Move out! (Mo-mo-move out) You gotta go! (Mo-mo-move out) Leave! (Mo-mo-move out) Bitch, please [Outro, Zack Hansen] Hey, are you guys fighting? Do you know where the hot Cheetos are? No? Okay