Kick Monday

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Wax] I'm coming hard for Friday, like a pedophile At his computer desk, watching Rebecca smile I go the extra mile, the marathon's 27th mile Then I hit the ice cold beverage aisle I got a cast-iron liver And I would rather drown my sorrows than cry a river I use my brain like you use a plane flight ticket Now I'm in a place where all the fences are white picket The only way it might get disturbing Is if you're bothered by the sound of light cricket chirping I just let it soak in like Robitussen And about the fast-paced rat race there's no discussion I'm just trying to get into the proper mood Remix of everyday life, chopped and screwed What can I do to get the weekdays behind me? Watsky, remind me Thank you, kindly [Chorus] Kick Monday in the nutsack Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack I'm coming hard for Friday And if you're not, get the fuck back Kick Monday in the nutsack Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack I'm coming hard for Friday And if you're not, get the fuck back [Verse 2: Watsky] Compared to mine, all testicles, hecka small (tiny) Mine crack walls like a wrecking ball (shiny) When my checkered drawers fall, y'all see ornaments Fit for a porno flick Time to deck the halls I'm glad it's all finished, the week is all bidness But now I'm chilling, sprawled out with a tall Guinness (call 'em) I'm gonna set the world record for the funnest time ever Had on the planet, so everybody call Guinness I swear a lot, this ain't Fisher-Price If I'm a bad influence, then here's the great advice: Kids! Don't be a dickweed! Appreciate the shit out of the present moment and be fucking nice! I whistle weird for the tune of it If they all did, it'd ruin it We spent two months on this here bluegrass-folk rock-hip hop album Because we really felt like doing it! So everybody [Chorus] Kick Monday in the nutsack Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack I'm coming hard for Friday And if you're not, get the fuck back Kick Monday in the nutsack Wedgie Wednesday's butt crack I'm coming hard for Friday And if you're not, get the fuck back [Verse 3: Watsky] I'm an Amurican, I put my work in And when my work's done, it's time for perking Hey, let's invite the vultures down to have a drink They must be getting tired doing all that circling Cause it's the world's end We're overheat-elated! And, from what I hear, we're also over-people-ated So, there's no room Or we'll just explode soon So, let's get inebriated And forget what we created So I've been thinking We should have a big party For all humans, and even women (ladies!) For the dumb Southerners, the lazy Mexicans The A-rabs, and the coloreds and their peckers, and The cheap Jews, which is me, too I'll even treat you! (L'chaim!) But, just this once, cause nothing's free, dude And when the fiery end comes, we'll burn up quicker Because we're full of liquor So everybody... [Outro] Kick Monday in the nutsack Don't be afraid, just wind up and do it Kick Monday in the nutsack Get a running start, come on now, son Kick Monday in the nutsack Family jewels in the family jewels, come on Kick Monday in the nutsack Don't be afraid, it's the American Dream Kick Monday in the nutsack Tuesday too, why the hell not Kick Monday in the nutsack And Wednesday gets, a wedgie, everybody Kick Monday in the nutsack Come on, come on, come on, with steel toe boots Kick Monday in the nutsack With your Air Jordans Kick Monday in the nutsack Not if you're wearing Crocs, though, you can get the fuck out of here Kick Monday in the nutsack You're a bad mothe- pssh, ah who cares Kick Monday in the nutsack