Gaston

Lyrics

[GASTON, spoken] Who does she think she is? That girl has tangled with the wrong man No one says, "No" to Gaston [LEFOU, spoken] Huh, darn right [GASTON, spoken] Dismissed, rejected Publicly humiliated Why, it's more than I can bear [LEFOU, spoken] More beer? [GASTON, spoken] What for? Nothing helps, I'm disgraced [LEFOU, spoken] Who, you? Never Gaston, you've got to pull yourself together [LEFOU] Gosh, it disturbs me to see you, Gaston Looking so down in the dumps Every guy here'd love to be you, Gaston Even when taking your lumps There's no man in town as admired as you You're everyone's favorite guy Everyone's awed and inspired by you And it's not very hard to see why No one's slick as Gaston, no one's quick as Gaston No one's neck's as incredibly thick as Gaston For there's no man in town half as manly Perfect, a pure paragon You can ask any Tom, Dick, or Stanley And they'll tell you whose team they'd prefer to be on [LEFOU & CHO​RUS] No one's been like Gaston, a kingpin like Gaston [LEFOU] No one's got a swell cleft in his chin like Gaston [GASTON] As a specimen, yes, I'm intimidating [LEFOU & CHO​RUS] My, what a guy, that Gaston Give five hurrahs, give twelve hip-hips [LEFOU] Gaston is the best and the rest is all drips [CHO​RUS] No one fights like Gaston, douses lights like Gaston [MEN] In a wrestling match, nobody bites like Gaston [BIMBETTES] For there's no one as burly and brawny [GASTON] As you see, I've got biceps to spare [LEFOU] Not a bit of him's scraggly or scrawny [GASTON] That's right, and every last inch of me's covered with hair [CHO​RUS] No one hits like Gaston, matches wits like Gaston [LEFOU] In a spitting match, nobody spits like Gaston [GASTON] I'm especially good at expectorating Ptooey! [CHO​RUS] Ten points for Gaston [GASTON] When I was a lad, I ate four dozen eggs Every morning to help me get large And now that I'm grown, I eat five dozen eggs So I'm roughly the size of a barge [CHO​RUS] No one shoots like Gaston, makes those beauts like Gaston [LEFOU] Then goes tromping around wearing boots like Gaston [GASTON] I use antlers in all of my decorating [CHO​RUS] Say it again Who's a man among men? And let's say it once more Who's that hero next door? Who's that super success, don't you know, can't you guess? Ask his friends and his five hangers-on There's just one guy in town who's got all of it down [LEFOU] And his name's G-A-S T-G-A-S-T-E G-A-S-T-O, oh [CHO​RUS] Gaston