Horrendous Ways (Chapter 1,2,3)

Lyrics

[Intro] Yeah, yeah Three stories for y'all, all the same ending Death in a horrendous way Why? Why, man? Tell me why Fifty million horrendous ways to die out here Why? Why? Ooh ooh ooh [Verse 1] Jeff and his little brother Stewie were crazy Colorado kids, outdoor explorers, nothing lazy Jeff's back from the Navy, Stewie's having a baby 'Member crawling through them caves, Stewie? Yeah It's amazing we ain't kill ourselves, what, the shit was the best Belly sliding through tunnels, blow all thе air out your chest Just to squeeze through, we usеd to go deep in them caves In fact, let's go again tomorrow like it was the old days He didn't wanna, but for Jeff's honor, they scaled the fence And crawled in, hella tense, already the air's dense That way makes no sense, Jeff, look, you're headed down Yeah, but I can't back up, I think I'm stuck, I need to turn around If I just squeeze on ahead, I'm sure there's room for me to do that Fuck! Dead end! I'm wedged in! I blew that Stewie, get help! Legs above, his head can't hardly breathe Hours later, cops in a rescue team arrive on the scene Jeffrey, we're gonna need to break your legs to try to wedge you from the rock But you could die from the painful shock, we need your consent, we're on the clock Oh, and the angle you're in is drowning your brain in blood We need to start, ooh, never mind, his heart just beat its last thud, clear out! [Chorus] Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) [Verse 2] Jamie and Dave were in some serious love In fact, Dave sold out his boys for that shit, fuckin' scrub Two years of lovin' in a Love Bug and a lot of hut tubbin' lovin' And after all that pluggin' nubbin', she plucked a bun out the oven and hugged him And on this lovely day, Jamie said let's walk by the [?] And get our feet wet, if the waves too big, I'll jump in your arms They said fuck it, parked his bucket, walked the deck and jumped in The water should've been ankle deep, but to they knees they sunk in Jamie say, "Oh shit, babe, this nasty, why's the bottom so mushy? I'm sinkin' all the way through, damn near to the crack of my pussy, help me" Dave said, "see, you're gettin' big!" She said, "Fuck you, I'm serious Help me get this leg out first, swim under and unbury it" They finally got her right leg out, it took all their might But now her left leg is fuckin' sunk even deeper, air tight Dave ran for help, 'cause now the water's fuckin' up to her waist The tide's comin' in, once it does, it'll be up over her face Ninjas ran up to help, her leg is stuck, the water's risin' The cops are strategizing, fuck, she could die, they're realizing They found a plastic tube for her to snorkel through as she went under Would've been a long night, but she panicked and drowned, no wonder [Chorus] Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) [Verse 3] Pip was a trip, a viral daredevil risk taker No kind of faker, the illest stunts he make up record breaker Ain't no challenge he won't take up, most of his shelves awards they make up Nobody alive misses his livestreams, even the dead wake up He earns a livin' killin' his competitions and thrillin' his exhibitions Is he willin' it, ask magicians, drillin' 'em groupies, mad positions His superstitious premonition to keep killin' his every mission It's his executive decision to keep collectin' mad admissions Pip would scale the tallest skyscrapers and hang off the sides And then incredibly he'd do three chin-ups all while streamin' live The chin-ups were his trademark, what set him aside from the rest He'd do 'em live on the edge of death while the fans at home held they breath One slip and it's over, but it hadn't happened though 'cause Pip's the man Then he got the challenge to scale the tallest building in Japan Off he went, a miniature King Kong, scaling up the edge He reached the top, exhausted, and wiped the rain off the ledge Wiped it again and went for it, hung off the side, arms extended Did his three chin-ups splendidly, but then he couldn't end it Out of gas, he hung for a minute, what he think when he peep below He heard a whimper, did he slip or let go? Psh, what's it matter though? [Chorus] Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) Why do so many end it all in horrendous ways? How do even good folks fall in horrendous ways? Tell me why great lives end in horrendous ways Horrendous ways (In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways) [Outro] In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways In horrendous ways, in horrendous ways In horrendous ways, horrendous ways