The Trouble With Women

Lyrics

[TAXI, spoken] What's the matter, afraid of dames? [RODNEY, spoken] They're nothing but a big headache, if you ask me [TAXI, spoken] They've been a lot of trouble to me, too! [TAXI] I once loved a girl out in Flatbush She was a picture of beauty and grace But she thought kittens came from a cat bush And she never had heard of first base So I travel no longer to Flatbush Though the girl is both wealthy and pure For whenever I tried my desires to confide Her mind was upon her coiffeur [TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY] Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women They soften your heart 'til it melts And then at the critical moment They are thinking about something else [SAVORY] As a student, my life was Parisian I languished, a captive of sex And when specks interfered with my vision They were lovely, voluptuous specks Then I toiled on a farm raising soybeans In a struggle to chasten my brain But the girl beans got in with the boy beans And I never struggled again [TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY] Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women You think you have left them behind You frolic in physical freedom And then they turn up on your mind [STANLEY] The reason each day I grow frailer Is that I'm trapped in a one-way romance With a lady who lives in a trailer With some devil-may-care debutants Her love for her kin is exquisite She entertains uncles galore But whenever I pay her a visit Them uncles wouldn't open the door [TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY] Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women I fear that their life is a lie While they stall you with maidenly murmurs They are romping with some other guy [RODNEY] When I drove my glamorous Chevy I would park in a suitable spot Then I'd turn to the girls like a heavy And inquire if they would or would not I always implied that they had to But, oh jimminies, was I perplexed On the night that one said she'd be glad to And I didn't know what to do next [TAXI, STANLEY, SAVORY & RODNEY] Oh, the trouble, the trouble with women They're either too cold or too warm Yes, they're either in flight or insatiable Oh, God give me strength to ignore'm [TAXI, STANLEY & SAVORY] God give me strength