Revenge Of A Middle-Aged Woman

Lyrics

I was looking for a cheap car in the Sunday classifieds When an ad jumped out And hit me right between my bugged out eyes It was a two-year-old Mercedes For seven hundred bucks I couldn't make my tremblin' fingers Dial that number fast enough The woman who picked up the phone Said yes it's still for sale But I had about a thousand calls So you better move your tail When I drove up that long driveway With the cash there in my hands She met me at the garage in a short skirt and a tan When we took it for a test drive I couldn't believe my luck She said I'll throw in those Arnold golf clubs there in the trunk None of this was makin' sense But then it dawned on me When she referred to her old man as that cheatin' S.O.B It was a classic case of a woman scorned She'll make that man wish he had never been born She's a forty something year old judge and jury He'll have no fury like revenge of a middle aged woman So she took me out to breakfast Put it on his credit card And by the time they poured the coffee She was pouring out her heart Stories of his sneakin' round and sorted escapades Secretaries, waitresses, and bimbos half his age She said you know there's one thing I outta thank him for Well, he ticked me off so much I put new locks on the doors Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time And if you ask me that man's a fool Or else he must be blind I'll never know his motives Can't get inside his head But I'm drivin' that Mercedes And I'm sleeping in his bed Well, I believe good wine and women get better with time And if you ask me that man's a fool Or else he must be blind I'll never know his motives Can't get inside his head But I'm drivin' that Mercedes And I'm sleeping his bed Revenge of a middle aged woman [Spoken] I know I oughta feel guilty about something… I just can't think of what it might be