What Am I Waiting For?

Lyrics

[Chorus] I changed how I look, how I talk, how I act I changed even more, I'm no longer yours Only thing I don't change about me Is wishing I changed even more What am I waiting for? [Verse 1] My grandma said, "I wanna visit you to get that L.A. view But I might die before I ever get the chance to" I found a subject I could change to To avoid the awkwardness and realizin' the painful truth But I wish I gave her honesty I know losin' memories is frustratin' beyond belief And every day, there's a new body part to let a doctor see But all that aside, how do you say that so casually? What does death mean to you? All your friends dyin', does it bring stress to you? Do you think about it? Like, will it hurt at all? When will my whole life be compressed into a phone call? Like, yeah, she's gone I wanna make her last years be a gift from God But it's a losin' game 'cause I got the news today It's funny how no matter how ahead you are, you're too late [Chorus] I changed how I look, how I talk, how I act I changed even more, I'm no longer yours Only thing I don't change about me Is wishin' I changed even more What am I waiting for? [Verse 2] I used to have reoccurrin' dreams about death So ever since you brought it up, I been sleepin' less I know what you gon' say, I'm too young to be goin' through it But can I ask you some questions as the closest one to it? You so open about it, so I'm curious Do you think an afterlife will be luxurious? Do you think it'll treat you as good as Jersey did? Do you think you'll see your husband? I'm just tryna picture what it's like to be you Three kids, five grandchildren all come from you Maybe 'cause of us, your life has a different meaning and a view And you're happy to live, but you don't have to I just can't relate My life is everything and I'm tryna make it great But it's a losin' game 'cause I got the news today It's funny how no matter how ahead you are, you're too late [Chorus] I changed how I look, how I talk, how I act I changed even more, I'm no longer yours Only thing I don't change about me Is wishin' I changed even more What am I waiting for? [Verse 3] On our phone call, you tensed up when you mentioned death It still bother me 'cause I want you to be content It was the middle of the night, I guess that's where most happen Did you find contentment or not even know what happened? The questions I don't have any answers to upset me Until I realize they're not meant to be Maybe that's what beautiful about the roll-out Grandma, Tuesday, I'ma be cryin' my soul out My birthday's comin' up and even if you lived past it I still changed the subject every time you hinted at it 'Cause I'm not even supposed to know 'til I'm supposed to know And until I'm supposed to know, I'll be hopin' I don't I'll be hopin' I don't, I wish I did more for you [Refrain] But I know it's a losin' game, I got the news today It's funny how no matter how ahead you are, you're too late [Bridge] What is the purpose of this? The purpose is to say, "I don't give a fuck" Can you say it one more time? I could've slapped you I'm your mother, I'm destroyed So, so, the character is, is [Chorus] I changed how I look, how I talk, how I act I changed even more, I'm no longer yours Only thing I don't change about me Is wishin' I changed even more I changed how I look, how I talk, how I act I changed even more, I'm no longer yours Only thing I don't change about me Is wishin' I changed even more What are you waiting for?