Anxious & Aspy

Song Meaning

The lyrics open with a stark declaration of withdrawal, as the speaker preemptively cuts off contact: "Don't call me next week." There's a sense of self-imposed isolation, framed as a future relief for the other party. This immediate retreat establishes a tone of guardedness and social apprehension. A central tension emerges from the speaker's struggle with fitting in. Phrases like "Remember I'm not average" and the high-stakes "fitting in here is pass or fail" reveal a deep-seated anxiety about societal expectations. The act of "digging holes in my backyard" initially suggests a preparation to speak out, hinting at a desire to overcome silence, yet it also implies a self-made trap. The craft here is particularly effective in its use of temporal shifts and contrasting imagery. The initial "busy all summer" transforms into a regretful "What have I been doing all summer?" a year later, suggesting lost time and unfulfilled intentions. The plea to "Ignore the dirt under my fingernails" and later, "Ignore the way that I'm not looking back," highlights a self-awareness of perceived flaws or social awkwardness, coupled with a desire for understanding despite these visible signs. The unique phrase "medians and modes attack" cleverly personifies the pressure of statistical normalcy, reinforcing the feeling of being an outlier. Ultimately, the lyrics paint a picture of profound internal conflict and exhaustion. The "digging holes" motif evolves from a preparation to speak to a preference for manageable, self-created problems over deeper engagement: "easier for me to fill." The closing lines, "I don't think I'm coming out to play / It feels like starting over every day," poignantly capture a persistent cycle of anxiety and the draining effort required to simply exist, suggesting a perpetual state of being on the defensive.