Will you buy a fine dog?

Song Meaning

“Will you buy a fine dog, with a hole in his head?” opens with a jarring, almost nonsensical image. This immediate oddity sets the stage for the lyrics' playful subversion. The abrupt, repeated interjection of "dildo, dildo, dildo" then shatters any pretense of innocence, signaling a distinctly bawdy intent from the outset. The speaker isn't just selling wares; they're selling a wink and a nudge. The lyrics establish a clever tension by listing seemingly innocuous fashion accessories like "muffs, cuffs, ribatos" and "pins, periwigs, combs." These items initially suggest a typical street vendor's pitch. However, the insistent "dildo" refrain woven through these lists quickly transforms the scene, implying that the true "wares" are far more suggestive than their respectable packaging lets on. It's a masterclass in double entendre, where the explicit undercuts the mundane. The speaker explicitly dismisses the common goods, declaring, "I stand not on points, pins, periwigs, combs, glasses." This rejection of everyday items is immediately followed by the revealing admission: "But I have other dainty tricks / Sleek stones and potting sticks." This pivot is where the craft truly shines, using euphemism to describe clearly sexual objects. The playful rhythm of "diddle, dildo" reinforces the cheeky, almost conspiratorial tone, inviting the listener into the illicit humor. What makes these lyrics so effective is their audacious blend of the overt and the implied. The blunt repetition of "dildo" acts as a constant, humorous anchor, while phrases like "pretty pods" and "musk cods" layer in more subtle, yet equally suggestive, innuendo.