Chili Sauce

Lyrics

Spoken Dialogue Waiter: Ah, good evening, Mr. Day! Two for dinner? Morris: Yes, give us one of those little sexy tables in the back Waiter: Oh, I'm sorry, sir, those are all taken! Morris: Jerome... Waiter: Urgh! I think maybe we can arrange it, Mr. Day! Morris: Thank you so much Sharon: Oh, Morris, was that necessary? Morris: Jerome... Sharon: Okay, okay, I'm sorry... Waiter: Right this way, sir! Morris: You know, this is an exciting establishment you have here Waiter: What I wouldn't give for a broken bottle... Morris: I can't hear you, what'd you say? Waiter: I said, I said, yes, we're remodeling! Morris: Mhm... Waiter: Cocktails before dinner? Morris: Yes, two Piña Coladas Sharon: Make mine a virgin Waiter: Okay, will you be having a virgin as well? Morris: Yes! For dessert! Haaa-ha-ha-ha-ha! Waiter: Sir, I'm afraid I don't get it Morris: Say, do you know how to do "The Walk"? Waiter: Why, certainly, everyone can do "The Walk"! Morris: Well, honey, why don't you just walk your ass to the other Side of the room? Waiter: Fuck you, too... nigga! Morris: Ah my dear, it's rough at the top. Jerome? Ehem, get your pad and pencil. I think it's gonna be kinda right. If my judge of character's correct, it's gon' be by the letter tonight. Now, stop me when I get to 17. Excuse me, baby. I bet you didn't know I had a piece of this restaurant, did you? But it looks like I'm gonna have to buy the whole thing and fire that man! May I taste that? Excuse me, that's kinda weak. Here, try mine. You know... Sharon: Good God! Morris: ...they say that saliva is an aphrodisiac Sharon: Excuse me Morris: You look so lovely tonight! Sharon: Why, thank you Morris: Probably even better under exotic red lights. I wish you could see my home, it's... it's so exciting. In my bedroom, I have a brass waterbed... Sharon: Really? Morris: Mhm. It's just surrounded by plants and lights and shit. And all kinds of little erotic artifacts. We could have breakfast in bed! Sharon: Oh! Morris: I, I, I have an Italian cook. Jerome Sa-Sa-Sasga-gagracci or something like that. It's funny, your eyes, when you stare at me like that... it causes my, my stomach to q-quiver. Oh Lord! Do you like diamonds? Sharon: Mm-hmm! Morris: Yeah? Sharon: Yeah! Morris: I know it's rather masculine, but try this one on Sharon: Aah! Morris: My God, darling, it fits! You must have strong hands... but they're so soft, like the oils in my morning bath. Somebody help me! Darling? Sharon: Yes? Morris: I'm not usually so forward, but... would you like to make love to me? Sharon: Hm-hmm... Morris: I, I could make it so nice! Do you know what is meant by the words, uhh... I hate to use them, they're, they're so harsh, American. You know what I mean? And yet on the other hand, they're exciting words. The words "Chili sauce"! Oh Lord! You know, I haven't made love in so long. But, with you, I know it would be just like riding a bike: I'd remember everything I've ever learned! Baby, if the Kid can't make you come, nobody can Jerome: Morris? Morris: Yeah? Jerome: 17! Morris: Oh, um... what's it gonna be, baby? Sharon: Chili sauce! Morris: Oh Lord!