The Cereal Cypher

Lyrics

[Verse 1: Sugar Bear (NemRaps)] You know I can't get enough of that Golden Crisp Try to take my bowl, pimp-smacked with an open fist (Uh) Poppin' up wit' no pants, you can't ignore me I'm smooth, daddy, puffin' wheat since the '40s Your girl wanna cereal and chill Stick a paw deep into the box, that's a meal (Ah, yeah) Got the energy, keep me goin' for hours Pour my cereal over your head, golden showers (Ah) Look, is it good for you? I admit it's not Bowl's so sweet, I'll put you in a diabetic shock Sugar Bear is the illest to spit a real verse These other dudes weird, like people who pour the milk first [Verse 2: Cap'n Crunch (Freeced) & Shwabadi] There once was a ship pursued through milk By pirates, sirens, and all their ilk They all want a taste of Captain C But the secret of the crunch goes down with me Any cat can see the captaincy of Captain C is what's happening I keep my dog at my side (Ruff) And stacks of wheat in fine packaging I don't rack up rings, they're rafts to me (Oh) Send the old veteran in to wet up competitors Staying fresher than veg is 'cause I refuse all dairy Every vessel says they wanna send me to Heaven So where the hell are my enemies, then? Oops, all buried (Ayy) [Verse 3: Snap, Crackle, and Pop (Rustage, Shwabadi & Connor Quest!), All] Snap, Crackle, and Pop (Yuh) Manhandle an opp (Yeah) Way we bag 'em, get 'em packed in a box (Woo) Reppin' Kellogs, but no cornflakes, so we crackin' one off (What?) We been here since '33, but still a standard in shops, uh (Yeah) Way I'm snappin' like it's poetry (Yeah) I'ma get 'em cut out like a voucher, we can go for free (Ha, yeah) Listen to them snap-snap-snap like it's bone disease (Yeah) (Yeah) They could put my name up on my clothing so they know it's me (What?) Crackle in the clouds, but I haven't died It's mad electric, give 'em both handsPow-pow, that's a balanced breakfast (Yeah, yeah) (Wee) We feed a nation, adults, babies, and the adolescents (Okay, okay) No beans and bacon, wheat? Replace 'em Crackle, crack, and egg 'em (Yeah, come on) Sonnin' other cereal's the father, the papa No AdBlocker could stop us when we pop up (Nah) Shoppers gon' flock to the cockiest partners (Who?) I got Coco beggin' to be top of the pops, bruh (Bruh) We're not gnoblins, we're problems up in the studio (That's right) Multi-grained, we're cutting shapes, and movin' to and fro Wee men on top of tables, it's subbuteo (Yeah) We don't need to sugarcoat it (Huh?), should've noticed, you've been gnomed [Interlude: Sir Grapefellow (The Stupendium)] Hello, look out below It's Grapefellow The fruitiest of troops to shoot with hoops and marshmallows The grapest aviator ever getting the kills I hate to pull rank, but I'm a General Mills [Verse 4: Sonny the Cuckoo (Chi-Chi)] Life is always sunny when you're Off your rocker and in the money, feelin' that Woo-hoo, cuckoo Got me feelin' choco-lovely Hey, you know no matter where I go I give a brand-new meaning to "in love with the coco" Hold on the lobotomy, breakin' the monotony With munchy crunchy, don't forget the chocolate, hoo And you can call it insane Rollin' in so much, I make it chocolate rain And, baby, maybe I'm a little bit of an addict But, hey, my puffs got nothin' artificially added [Verse 5: Trix Rabbit (CG5)] I'm gonna serve you as part of a complete breakfast Hoppin' right into it, these bars are the freshest With all the little kids takin' what's rightfully mine Well, I've had enough this time 'Cause I just want a bowl of fruity heaven right in front of me So why are all these stupid little children makin' fun of me? Takin' one bite would be my dream come true Yet it's always out of reach, so I'm gonna kill you Can't you all stop callin' me a silly rabbit? 'Cause I'm on my last nerve and I've about had it I have an idea, let me eat the freakin' cereal Just because you're human doesn't mean that I'm inferior [Verse 6: Toucan Sam (The Stupendium)] It's Toucan Sam, flew the coop from the UK This toucan can root out the fruitiest bouquets (Oh, my) My fool-proof snoot plots a route to where loops lay You're drawin' a blank trackin' the oot-fray oops-lay (Oh, fruity) For generations, leaving snacking fulfilled I make waves every day when I splash in the milk I rep whole grain, so I'm stackin' the mills If you ever wonder why toucans have bands on their bills I'm rocking the monopoly on tropical O's Though the nature of the flavour, no one properly knows Orange, lemon, cherry, well, it's probably those But if you want to know yourself, you've got to follow your nose [Verse 7: Count Chocula (CK9C)] *Laughter* Don't make a sound, crawling out of your favorite holiday With a bite to fear, I reappear, how 'bout a monster for breakfast today? Of all the scary cereals, I simply am the best Don't care what FrankenBerry said about it My double chocolatey flavor outshines the rest I should be year-round, but they won't allow it To make the most of all this Got my pals, some less than honest Halloween, it calls upon us I'll be back, yes, that's a promise [Verse 8: Quisp & Quake (The Stupendium), Both] We're Quisp and Quake Every nibble you take Will leave you wishin' for space Or simply give you the shakes I'm the winner for taste Or so my adversary claims Don't tell 'em that our recipe's exactly the same [Verse 9: King Vitaman (The Stupendium)] King Vitaman, formerly King Vitamin They made us change it when the courts couldn't find 'em In truth, our nutritional benefits never meant a thing But how else you gonna get to sit at breakfast with a king? [Verse 10: Tony the Tiger (Daddyphatsnaps)] Eye of a tiger It ain't the only Tony that's pushin' white of the finest (Hoo) I'm corny, down to the items (Hoo) But steady pushin' the vitamins (Yeah) I see I got they blood-pressure risin' (What?) It's a good thing I'm chock full of niacin (Ha) Eat it up, it's good to see you earnin' your stripes (Woah) These other cypher cereals is worse than burger and fries (Woah) The GOAT has arrived, and either you believe it or lied (Yeah) I'm top three and two and three are beside me (Yeah), I'm great (I'm great) Sayin', "Cheerio" to all cerealians (Yeah) They Froot Loops if they thinkin' those collectives gonna bury us Bee to a Siberian, a bit hilarious I put you in a body bag, AK you generic bitch [Verse 11: Professor Weeto (Professor Elemental)] Professor Weeto re-presents my lovely chocolate hoops And a memorable jingle, impossibly produced In a lab filled with sugar and choccy cow juice I'm down at the bottom, but was once brand new In the '90s I was nice, easily the best There's a prize in every box, a dinosaur, a magic set I used to have the lot, but I'm lost just like my hair is And I'm aware that my glare through the box would often scare kids Careless, but loveable, chocolate milk chuggable Gosh, I miss that box, the '90s were so wonderful But I'll make it out the lab, come back over drum tracks Never mind a grudge match, I've come to bring the fun back [Verse 12: Coco the Monkey (Breeton Boi)] Uhm, when they see Coco, know it's already done (Huh?) I be talkin' all my talk and they be holdin' their tongue (Huh?) 'Cause they know Coco Pops and milk make a bowl full of fun (Woo) So best believe when Coco pops, that mean he goin' off (Uh-huh) Everyone call Coco "pops" because he sonnin' y'all (Uh-huh) You ain't crafty for thinking you can come at me So the only crocs that I wan' see? The ones I'm steppin' on (Bam) I ain't H&M (Hoo) Still the coolest monkey in the jungle, tell a friend, huh Never been a bored ape, but my cereal sales could get a yacht And a club without any NFTs involved, wassup [Verse 13: Quaker Man (The Stupendium)] Good gracious, friends, this is really quite a schism (Oh, no) The Quakers suggests we all practice some quietism (I concur) Part of a balanced breakfast, well, rhyming isn't Though I recommend you consult a dietician [Verse 14: Chip the Wolf (GameboyJones)] I did it for the cookie, no limp biscuit Been that misfit, one that your parents can get with Yeah, C-O-O-K-I-E, now let me spell it out Your mama even likes me, been the sweetest thing inside her mouth (Sheesh) Woof-woof, they lettin' the wolf loose That doggy that came before me, we gave him the deuce-deuce And who knew (Huh?), people accepted the new dude? I've always been on the rise like takin' a Blue Chew (Ha) Chip be stackin' chips, call that General Mills And when the chips are stacked against me, bet I'll get 'em all still 'Cause if you wishin' that I'll fumble, you best believe you'll get humbled And all I'll say for rebuttal, that's the way the cookie crumbles (Awoo) [Verse 15: Lucky the Leprechaun (The Stupendium)] There'll always after me Lucky Charms Get your mitts on me marbits? Askin' to come to harm It's a sham, rockin' up, try to nab a few spoons Only gettin' peace and quiet once in every blue moon When you're tasked with playing guardian to the magically delicious From the pilferers and purloiners, so fanatically pernicious (No) Well, you'd have to be a wizard, kids are manic, and they're vicious It's exasperating, frankly, sick of grantin' all your wishes Sick of jiggy in the middle with you huntin' me stuff Always playin' second fiddle, kiddies runnin' amok See me charms be devoured? Well, it's gonna be tough I got marshmallow power, double me luck [Verse 16: Cornelius "Corny" Rooster (Dan Bull)] Cock-a-doodle-doo, motherclucker, what are you gonna do? I'm the rudest of roosters, unruly but rulin' the roost This is more than a mornin' wake-up call It's a warnin', I'm warmin' up when I straight up squawk in your space Peckin' your retinas, wreckin' and rippin' your face off, mauled So you'll have to take off more than a couple days off school My opps are like hunger, I stave off all Stay flavourful, even when I flay the fool Ain't that "ooh", even the milk in the fridge struggles to stay that cool Who are these corny idiots movin' to Cornelius? Dude, I've seen what you're doin', it's all tedious Why so serious? I'm the nicest cereal Son, I find it surreal, seein' you tryna deal wit' it And you cannot deny the fact I killed with this whole verse You're probably the type to put the milk in the bowl first I move product all day, you tryna do cold turkey You soggy cornflake, I'm flippin' this whole birdie So like I said at the top, cock-a-doodle-doo You got boxed in the head by the head on the box, so toodle-oo