Love Song for Professor Lupin

Song Meaning

This track opens with a wistful sigh and a repeated, almost chant-like address to "Professor Lupin," immediately setting a tone of infatuation tinged with a touch of forbidden longing. The narrator confesses a "little secret" that "Dumbledore wouldn't approve," hinting at a crush on a former teacher. The initial verses frame this crush within the context of the chaotic history of Dark Arts teachers, suggesting a pattern of questionable figures in that role. The core tension arises from the narrator's attraction to Professor Lupin, explicitly stated as a crush, juxtaposed with the perceived disapproval of authority figures like Dumbledore. The lyrics playfully list previous Dark Arts teachers—Quirrell, Lockhart, Moody (revealed as Crouch), Umbridge, and Snape—highlighting their various failings and the narrator's relief when some departed. This historical review serves to normalize, in the narrator's mind, the idea that the position itself attracts unusual individuals, making their own unconventional affection for Lupin seem less out of place. The most striking craft element is the direct, almost conversational confession of attraction to Lupin, culminating in the blunt declaration, "werewolves are kind of cute." This unexpected, specific detail grounds the abstract crush in a tangible, albeit fantastical, characteristic of Lupin. The repetition of the chorus, particularly the line "Now I can see why they sacked the other Dark Arts teachers," acts as a recurring justification, a rationalization for the narrator's feelings by linking Lupin to a lineage of problematic but compelling figures. Ultimately, the song's effectiveness lies in its earnest, slightly awkward confession of a crush. It captures a specific, niche fantasy rooted in the lore of the Harry Potter universe, presenting it with a disarming sincerity. The humor and charm come from the narrator's attempt to logically process an illogical feeling, using the bizarre history of the Dark Arts position as a backdrop for their personal, forbidden affection, making the listener chuckle at the relatable, if unusual, nature of infatuation.