Dickie’s Such an A*****e (Live / 12-10-73 / Show 2)

Lyrics

[Spoken] Ok, hold your applause for one second. Alright, we can come up and do another encore provided everybody provides with the liquor law, so pass any glasses that are on the table to the end of the aisle, and Mar- Alright, hold it a second. And Mary'll let us do another encore, so just- anybody with a glass, don't give the waitress a hard time, just pass the glasses to the end of the aisle so the bus boys and waitress's can get it. Don't say it's the last sip. Ok, and once again, Frank Zappa and The Mothers of Invention [Spoken] Thank you! No. Listen, uh they're going to, uh, reload the cameras and we're gonna do a special- 'nother special number for you, ladies and gentlemen. That was quite an experience. Heheh. (How about a Golden Oldie?) Golden Oldie? Well, I'll tell ya what, ya know, we could play Golden Oldie, but the golden newie is better. (Do y'know any clean ones?) Dwarf Nebula, good god! Have you been there too? Ya know, people come to concerts and they ask for unusual songs sometimes, most of the time people ask for normal stuff. (Louie-louie) Louie-louie, that's right. But, ya know, wh- it makes me feel really good when somebody requests a great hit like, "Dwarf Nebula". You don't even know what that is, it's just an electronic piece on one of the albums, y'know. (GET A LITTLE) Yeah, oh you ready to go? Heyy, ladies and gentlemen, our new special number, which we're using currently as our encore even, is something that has a certain amount of political import and implications, because it- it casts aspersions on the character of our president. Name of this song is, "Dickie's Such An Asshole". Now, we don't wish to- we don't wish to offend any devout republicans with our material, but that's just tough tushy ladies and gentlemen. Now, if you'd like to, we have audience participation on this, you don't have to stand up you can just sit there, all you gotta do is sing, and here's the lick, it comes right at the end of the song: "Dickie's such an asshole (sincerely Dick, we man it) weee-oooh". Ok, you think you can master that? Wanna try it one time? Here. "Dickie's such an asshole (sincerely Dick, we man it) weee-oooh". Yes, it's that "Wee-ooh" that really gets it. Ok, here we go. Let's give it right to them. Give it to them. I mean, this is going to them [Intro] One 'n one is eleven Two 'n two is twenty-two Won't somebody kindly tell me What the government's tryin' to do [Verse 1] Dickie's just too tricky For a chump like me to use Well, you take that sub-committee serious, boy You just might get a seizure from the evenin' news Well, millions 'n millions of dollars Much as he might need He could open up a chain of motels, people On the highway, yes indeed Quadrophonic desperation Ya know, there be a cable all under your bed Well, if you just might break some wind in your slumber The FBI is gonna get your number Gonna get ya Gonna get ya Gonna jump out of the sub-committee and get ya [Verse 2] Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Done got your number The FBI Done got your number The FBI Gonna get your number The FBI Gonna get your number Gonna get your number Gonna get your number [Verse 3] I'm tryin' not to worry Tryin' not to care But you know I get delighted When some microphones not there Can't have no private conversations Nowhere in the U, USA Can't wait 'til the rest of the people all over the world Find out that their government Is just the same ol' way [Instrumental] [Bridge] Well, let me tell you one thing right now Let me tell you one thing right here Let me make this perfectly clear Let me tell you one thing right here You know I never lied to ya I said I'd lower taxes I lower all the taxes I told ya I'd be your friend I always smile at ya One thing I wanna tell you about I had a whole bunch of tapes 'N I had a whole bunch of friends Didn't know what to do with the tapes Decided to give 'em to a friend Gave one to Bebe Two to Da- Two to Nick Two to him Two to them Then I said now Hold on now, hold on Hold on to, hold on Gonna get ya Hold on, gonna get ya baby Get down and start prayin' Hold on, gonna get ya Hold on, it's gonna get ya Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, hold on Hold on, yeah He cheated He lied He said he'd lower taxes Then cheated You know the man lied He said he'd end the war But he didn't say when, no Let me tell ya one more thing Make it clear [Verse 4] The gangster stepped right up Missed him on the lips goodbye Made him a cocksucker by proxy, yes he did And he didn't even bat an eye The man in the White House, let me tell ya He's got a conscience black as sin! There's just one thing I wanna know How'd that asshole ever manage to get in? [Outro] Here it is, are you ready now? DICKIE'S SUCH AN ASSHOLE Sincerely, Dick, we mean it Wee-ooh [Spoken] That's the end of the show, for the evening. If ya really like those, they'll be here tomorrow night. [?] after that, Genesis, Tar of Par[?]. It's quicker and faster to use the side exits