The Last Bristolian Pirate

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Oh I used to be a farmer and I made a living fine I had a little stretch of land, along the western line But times were hard and though I tried the money wasn't there And bankers came and took my land and told me: "fair is fair." [Verse 2] I looked for every kind of job, the answer always: "no" "Hire you now?", they'd always laugh, "we just let twenty go" The government they promised me a measly little sum But I've got too much pride to end up just another bum And I said: "who gives a damn if all the jobs are gone I'm going to be a pirate on the river Severn!" (Yarr!) [Chorus] And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores [Verse 3] You'd think the other farmers would know that I'm at large But just the other day I saw an unsuspecting barge I snuck up right behind them and they were none the wiser I rammed their boat and sank it and I stole the fertilizer! [Verse 4] The bridge outside of Redwick spans a mighty river Farmers cross in so much fear their stomachs are a-quiver Cause they know that Tractor Jack is hiding in the bay I'll jump the bridge and knock 'em cold And sail off with their hay! [Chorus] And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores [Verse 5] Well officer Robbie chased me he was always at my throat But he followed on the shoreline cause he didn't own a boat But cut backs were a-coming and the copper lost his job And now he sails with us and we call him Salty Rob! [Verse 6] A swinging sword, a skull and bones a pleasant company I'll never pay my income tax and screw the VAT (screw it!) Sailing down to Oldbury, the terror of the sea If you wanna get to Tesco, boys, you've gotta get by me! [Chorus] And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores [Verse 7] Well pirate life's appealing but you don't just find it here I hear that up in Yorkshire there's a band of buccaneers They roam around the Yorkshire dales from Smith to Beverley And you're bound to lose your flat cap if you have to pass their way [Verse 8] Winter is a-coming and a chill is in the breeze My pirate days are over if the rivers start to freeze Well I'll be back in springtime but now I've got to fly I hear there's lots of plundering down in the Isle of Wight [Chorus] And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores And it's a- heave-ho hi-ho Coming down the plains Stealing wheat and barley and all the other grains And it's a- ho-hey hi-hey farmers bar your doors When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores When you see the Jolly Roger on the Severn's mighty shores