Humpty Dumpty

Lyrics

[Intro] James Joyce is renowned for having written some very, very complicated material Surprisingly, he wrote the next song, which is very simple [Verse 1] Have you heard of one Hump-ity Dumpty? How he fell with a roll and a rumble Curled up like Lord Olofa Crumple At the butt of the Magazine Wall The Magazine Wall, hump, helmet and all [Verse 2] He was one time our King of the Castle Now he's kicked about like a rotten old parsnip And from Green Street he'll be sent by order of His worship To the penal jail of Mountjoy To the jail of Mountjoy, jail him with joy [Verse 3] He was fa-father of all things for to bother us Slow coaches and immaculate contraceptives for the populace Mare's milk for the sick, seven dry Sundays a week Open air love and religion's reform Religious reform, so hideous in form [Verse 4] Arrah, why, says you, couldn't he manage it? I'll go bail, me fine dairyman darling Like the bumping bull of the Cassidys All his butter is in his horns His butter is in his horns, butter his horns [Verse 5] Sweet bad luck to the waves worst to all Ireland The hooker of the Hammerfest Viking And Gall's curse on the day when Eblana bay Saw his black and tan man-o'-war Saw his black and tan man-o'-war on the harbour bar [Verse 6] He was joulting by Wellington's monument Our rotorious hippo-po-potamuns When some bugger let down the backstrap of the omnibus And he caught his death of fusiliers With his rent in his rears, give him six years [Verse 7] Oh, we'll have a free trade Gael's band and mass meeting For to sod the brave son of Scandiknavery And we'll bury him down in Oxmanstown Along with the deaf and dumb Danes The deaf and dumb Danes, and all their remains [Verse 8] Now all the king's men and his horses Couldn't never resurrect his corpus For there's no true spell in Connacht or hell That's able to raise a Cain