Song Meaning
The lyrics paint a picture of deep-seated regret and a feeling of being trapped by past decisions and words. The narrator expresses doubt about clarity in past communication, labeling a choice as their "poorest choice" twice, immediately signaling a fixation on a mistake. The phrase "In the four years to come" suggests a long, drawn-out period of suffering or inaction, where despite potential efforts like "pull out all my hair," the narrator anticipates remaining stuck, emphasizing a sense of futility and resignation.
The central tension lies in the narrator's struggle with the power of words and their own inability to escape the consequences. There's an acknowledgment that "danger in words" exists, yet a simultaneous admission of not caring, perhaps indicating a reckless disregard or a learned helplessness. The repetition of "put aside for awhile" hints at a temporary suppression of issues, which inevitably resurfaces, especially with the recurring imagery of shaking fists at "walls."
The most striking craft element is the persistent, almost obsessive, repetition of "I shake my fists at walls / It is only afterwards." This creates a visceral image of impotent rage directed at unyielding obstacles, with the "afterwards" implying that the realization or the action of frustration only comes *after* the moment has passed or the damage is done. This cycle of delayed reaction and futile anger underscores a profound sense of helplessness and self-recrimination.
What makes these lyrics hit hard is the raw portrayal of internal conflict and the bleak outlook. The narrator isn't just sad; they're actively wrestling with their own perceived failures and the limitations they feel. The imagery of swimming in a "depth that I thought I would never swim" and "bleak kisses" creates a suffocating atmosphere, making the feeling of being stuck and the futile rage feel intensely personal and inescapable.