The Old Orange Flute – Live at Carnegie Hall

Lyrics

[Intro, Spoken] Seeing as it's near the 17th of March, we want to extend a hand to our orange brethren... With a black spot on it. you See, in the north of Ireland we have a bunch of fellows called Orangemen. they're fellows that sell oranges. Lemons? Now, this fellow in our hometown, he was an Orangeman Now, he was going with his girls – He was a catholic, they're the bad fellows and we're the good fellows – they decide to get married, so they got marriеd, and after they werе married for a little while, they decided he was going to become Catholic So, he went to the priest and he took instruction for a long time, and he was baptized eventually. and he came home, but he couldn't get it through his head that he was a catholic, and he didn't know what the hell to do about it! so he went to the priest, and he said "look father", he said, I know I took all them instructions, and you baptized me and everything, but I can't get it through my head that I'm a catholic, what'll I do about it? So the priest said ..[?].. No he didn't say that, he said "the only thing I can tell you do do is keep repeating to yourself, 'I'm a catholic, not a protestant, I'm a catholic, not a protestant, I'm a catholic, not a protestant, I'm a catholic, not a protestant', eventually it will penetrate your thick skull that you're a catholic and not a protestant" So away he went, muttering to himself " 'I'm a catholic, not a protestant, I'm a catholic, not a protestant". Now, the following friday the priest happened to be going round and he decided to visit the newlyweds, and he went in and got a whiff he shouldn't get in a good catholic house on a Friday. And Mary was sitting knitting, and he says to her 'Where's Sam, Mary?' Says 'He's in the kitchen, father'. So he went into the kitchen and there was sam, and he had a huge big steak on the pan and he was scooping gravy over it, and he was saying 'You're a trout, you're not a steak, You're a trout, you're not a steak, You're a trout, you're...' This song is called 'You're a trout, you're not a steak'. No, it's called 'The Old Orange Flute' [Verse 1] In the county Tyrone, near the town of Dungannon Where many's the ruction meself had a hand in Bob Williamson lived there, a weaver by trade And all of us thought him a stout Orange blade [Verse 2] On the twelfth of July as it yearly did come Bob played on the flute to the sound of the drum You may talk of your harp, your piano or lute But there's nothing could sound like the Old Orange Flute [Verse 3] But Bob the Deceiver, he took us all in He married a Papist named Bridget McGinn Turned Papish himself and forsook the Old Cause That gave us our freedom, religion and laws [Verse 4] Now the boys in the county made some comment upon it That Bob had to fly to the province of Connaught He fled with his wife and his fixins, to boot And along with the lather his Old Orange Flute [Verse 5] At the chapel on Sunday, to atone for past deeds Bob said Paters and Aves and counted his beads Till after some time, at the priest's own require He went with the old flute to play in the choir [Verse 6] He went with the old flute too play for the mass But the instrument shivered and sighed."O Alas!" And try as he might, though he made a great noise The flute would play only "The Protestant Boys" [Verse 7] Bob jumped and he started, and got in a flutter And the old flute in the blest holy water He thought that this charm would bring some other sound When he tried it again, it played "Croppies Lie Down!" [Verse 8] And for all he would whistle and finger and blow To play Papish music, he found it no go "Kick the Pope" to "Boyne Water" it freely would sound But one Papish squeak in it couldn't be found [Verse 9] At a council of priests that was held the next day They decided to banish the Old Flute away They couldn't knock heresy out of its head So they bought Bob a new one to play in its stead [Verse 10] Well the Old Flute was doomed, and its fate was pathetic 'Twas fastened and burnt at the stake as heretic As the flames soared around it, they hear a strange noise 'Twas the Old Flute still a-whistlin' "The Protestant Boys" Tooral-Ay, Tooral-Ay, oh it's six miles from Bangor to Donal[?] [laughter, applause]