Twelve Days

Lyrics

[Intro] The time is the present, 1963 And imagine if you will, a scene in West Germany where my friends and I are having a little party It's quite a private party We're celebrating the coming holiday season, Christmas and the New Year [Verse 1] On the first day of Christmas My true love gave to me A partridge in a pear tree (La, la, la, la) [Verse 2] On the second day of Christmas My true love gave to me Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 3] On the third day of Christmas My true love gave to me Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 4] On the fourth day of Christmas My true love gave to me Four top Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 5] On the fifth day of Christmas My true love said to me "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 6] On the sixth day of Christmas We received from Israel (Ja?) Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 7] On the seventh day of Christmas The US sent us free Seven more million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 8] On the eighth day of Christmas My true love gave to me A Telefunken H-Bomb (A Telefunken H-Bomb? Ja, a Telefunken H-Bomb Let me show you this Telefunken H-Bomb It looks just like an ordinary Telefunken Radio Except when you're trying to get England YOU'RE TRYING TO GET ENGLAND!) Seven million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 9] On the ninth day of Christmas We heard officially "They got the wrong Eichmann" Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 10] On the tenth day of Christmas Long Island sent us free Ten swastika scribblers "Got the wrong Eichmann" Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 11] On the eleventh day of Christmas We heard officially "Monocles are back!" Ten swastika scribblers "Got the wrong Eichmann" Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear tree [Verse 12] On the twelfth day of Christmas They told all Germany "HE is still alive" "Monocles are back" Ten swastika scribblers "Got the wrong Eichmann" Telefunken H-Bomb Seven million dollars Six guided missiles "To Hell with Adenauer" Four Gestapo leaders Three anti-Semites Rudolf Hess's blessings And a partridge in a pear (Merry Christmas, everybody) tree