The Unfortunate Man

Lyrics

[Verse 1] There once was a lawyer they called Mr. Clay He had but two clients, and they wouldn't pay At last, of starvation he grew so afraid That he courted and married a wealthy old maid [Verse 2] At the wedding the lawyer made one big mistake 'Twas not in omitting the wine or the cake The ring was well chosen, they had a big feed But the lawyer did not get a warranty deed [Chorus] He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man (Yes) He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man [Verse 3] At night in their chamber the lady arose And began to prepare to retire and repose Her husband sat near her admiring her charms That gave him such pleasure to hold in his arms [Verse 4] She went to the washstand to bathe her fair face And thus she destroyed all her beauty and grace The rose on her cheek quickly grew very faint And he saw on the towel 'twas nothing but paint [Chorus] He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man (Oh, yes) He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man [Verse 5] She went to the mirror to take down her hair And when she had done so, her scalp was all bare Said she, "Don't be frightened to see my bald head I'll put on my cap when I get into bed" [Verse 6] She hung her false hair on the wall on a peg Then she proceeded to take off her leg Her trembling husband got quite a surprise When she asked him to come and take out her glass eye [Verse 7] Now, all you young men who would marry for life Be sure to examine your intended wife Remember the lawyer who trusted his eyes And a little bit later got quite a surprise [Chorus] He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man (Oh, yes) He's a very unfortunate, very unfortunate Very unfortunate man