Talking Football

Lyrics

[Verse 1] Every fall when the leaves turn brown Friday evening rolls around I sit down in my TV chair My face assumes a TV stare Goodbye, world Goodbye, family It's football time [Verse 2] It's highlight films of last week's games Commercials starring big league names Analysis of all the plays Pickin' the winners for Saturday Interviews with the stars Interviews with the water boy Interviews with the fullback's grandmother [Verse 3] On Saturday it's do or die For dear old Siwash will defy The enemy to dim our stars Who have their eyes on brand new cars Thank God for scholarships Thank God for alumni Thank God for the school of education [Verse 4] Now, my poor wife has got it rough 'Cause Saturdays would be enough But Sunday's a tale she knows too well A double-header in the NFL She says I don't listen to her Said she was going to Reno Sounded to me like a new formation [Verse 5] Now, half time shows with pretty girls In little short skirts and long blond curls But who's got time for majorettes when NBC has got the Jets And I just can't afford two sets, but don't fret, Jets With four hundred thousand dollars for Namath And two hundred thousand for Huarte You can spend them to death [Verse 6] The terminology is givin' me fits It's red-dogs, cornerbacks, double safety blitz Jitterbugging, automatic, submarine, zip Zig-out, down-and-out, collarbone, hip Listen to the huddle, hear the quarterback say "Tucker, just take that ball and run for your life It's your turn to be on instant replay" [Verse 7] Well, as I sat there sipping beer A shoe came whistlin' by my ear A bullet pass, I really mean It went right through the TV screen My wife was laughing hysterically I said, "Don't worry, honey I can have it fixed by next Saturday"