Lover’s Spat

Lyrics

[JOSH, spoken] Oh no, no, no, no, no, no Please, no song, I'll do anything [MELISSA, spoken] Yeah, guys, we're actually in the middle of some— [MAN #1] You can't plow a field without hittin' some stones [WOMAN #1] Every steak's bound to have some fat [WOMAN #2, ENSEMBLE] You can't eat a fish without gettin' some bones And you can't have love without having a lover's spat [JOSH, spoken] Would you leave us alone for just a minute? [MELISSA, spoken] Seriously, please [WOMEN] First she says somethin' bound to get his gander [MEN] Then he says somethin' mean to get her back [WOMEN] Then she complains that he don't undеrstand her [MEN] And then he givеs her a smack [MELISSA, spoken] Oh, oh no, that's not okay Unless it's consensual [MEN] It's just a Love-love-lover's spat [WOMEN] Just 'cause you're feudin' [ENSEMBLE] Don't mean that you're concludin' [MEN] It's as plain, plain, plain as that [ENSEMBLE] It's only a lover's spat [WOMEN] First he says [JOSH, spoken] Yeah, I-I'm not doing this [MEN] Then she says [MELISSA, spoken] Oh, what a surprise, you don't want to talk about it [WOMEN] Then he says [JOSH, spoken] Um, what is that supposed to mean? [MEN] Then she says [MELISSA, spoken] It's not supposed to mean anything; I said what I meant [WOMEN] Then he says [JOSH, spoken] I can't do this with all these people around [MEN] Then she says [MELISSA, spoken] Oh, you can't do this period [ENSEMBLE] Every gal and feller Are bound to have a yeller [JOSH, spoken] We have to get out of here [MELISSA, spoken] Yeah, yeah [MILDRED] Eve and Adam frolicked in the garden Living there was such a sweet delight 'Til Adam, he said, "Madam, beg your pardon But my apple's missing a bite" [MEN] They (They) had (Had) a (A) [ENSEMBLE] Love-love-lover's spat [WOMEN] Just 'cause you're wranglin' [ENSEMBLE] Don't mean that you're untanglin' [MEN] It's as plain, plain, plain as that [ENSEMBLE] It's only a lover's spat [MEN] First she says [MELISSA, spoken] So what's the plan, Josh, look for someone new? [WOMEN] Then he says [JOSH, spoken] I'm not having a discussion that's part of a musical number [MEN] Then she says [MELISSA, spoken] Why won't you just answer the question? [WOMEN] Then he says [JOSH, spoken] Fine, yes, if it's a way to get out of here [MEN] Then she says [MELISSA, spoken] I knew it, I knew it [WOMEN] Then he says [JOSH, spoken] Agh! [ENSEMBLE] It's just a Love-love-lover's (It's just a lover's, lover's) spat Just 'cause you bicker Don't mean that you'll end quicker It's as plain, plain, plain (It's as plain, as plain) as that It's only a lover's spat When he puts her on the spot And she spits out of spite They're a kettle and a pot Both convinced they're right And they think it's all for nought Then they kiss goodnight [MELISSA, spoken] It's over [JOSH, spoken] Mel [MELISSA, spoken] No, I mean it, we're officially broken up now You're free to find true love with whoever you want 'Cause this is it, the end And, and you suck, and I hate you, and I hope you die [JOSH, spoken] Mel [MELISSA, spoken] Stop saying Mel, you sound like a freakin' idiot [ENSEMBLE] That's how you end a lover's How you end a lover's spat