Lyrics

My dad had a beard! 'Cause my dad wasn't shit! And when he died I decided I Would grow one just like it! I grew it large and I grew it long! I grew it thick and I grew it strong! Then I had to get a job But at the job interview They told me I'd have to shave The beard That I had just grew! They said 'We have a no-beard policy'! I said 'You can't do this to me!' I said: I WON'T SHAVE! I WON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY! I WON'T SHAVE! I'm not gonna shave my beard away I won't listen to what you say I dont' need your welfare, don't need your pay! This beard is mine! And this! Beard! Stays! I said 'This beard stays!' So I went to central lake Thought I'd get me some welfare But the lady at the counter Didn't like my facial hair! She said 'You'll have to shave first, sir' So I stood up, and yelled this at her: (oh I yelled:) I WON'T SHAVE! I WON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY! I WON'T SHAVE! I'm not gonna shave my beard away I won't listen to what you say I dont' need your welfare, don't need your pay! This beard is mine! And this! Beard! Stays! So I wandered far from home Travelling across the land And I spread my bearded message Singing in my novelty band! So if you're bearded and you're proud! Sing with us, and sing it loud! We'll all sing: WE WON'T SHAVE! WE WON'T DO WHAT YOU SAY! WE WON'T SHAVE! We're not gonna shave our beards away We've got beards, and that's okay You're not a real father anyway These beards are ours! And these! Beards! Stay! And 'This beard stays!' These! Beards! Stay! These! Beards! Stay! Beards