The Beards Club

Lyrics

The beards club stood In the middle of town And if you didn't have a beard You were'nt allowed At eighteen years old Billie couldn't grow a beard He wanted one badly He'd been trying for years Billy couldn't even grow a simple goatee And the bouncers always said No beard, no entry By the time that he was twenty Billy managed a beard It was patchy and mangy But it got him in He walked up to the bar And pulled up a seat The bearded man behind the bar said What'll it be Billy flashed a beard and smiled and said I'll have a pint The barman flashed one back and said Welcome inside Welcome to the beards club Welcome to the beards club Welcome to the beards club Come the fuck inside Well everything was going fine 'til in walked a guy He had a beard down to his chest He was seven feet high The barman said Hey I don't want a scene But the giant bearded man Walked up to billy The giant pointed at Billy's face and said You call that a beard? He grabbed Billy by the throat and said Get out of here Stay away from the beards club Stay away from the beards club Stay away from the beards club Stay the fuck away Well the giant bearded man Was gonna throw billy out But Billy had come this far He wasn't giving up now He grabbed the giants beard And he tore it away And everybody stared at his baby smooth face The giants fake beard fell down Down to the floor The barman turned to the giant and said Sorry, you're not welcome here any more Stay away from the beards club Stay away from the beards club Stay away from the beards club Stay the fuck away Welcome to the beards club Welcome to the beards club Welcome to the beards club Welcome to the beards club Beards