Frontier Psychiatrist

Lyrics

[Intro: George Hulse, Divine] (Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill? Is Dexter ill?) Is Dexter ill today? No, Mr. Kirk, Dexter's in school I'm afraid he's not, Miss Fishpaw Dexter's truancy problem is way out of hand The Baltimore County School Board have decided to expel Dexter from the entire public school system Why, Mr. Kirk? I'm as upset as you to learn of Dexter's truancy But surely expulsion is not the answer! I'm afraid expulsion is the only answer! It's the opinion of the entire staff that Dexter is criminally insane (Sane, sane, sane) [Chorus: Johnny Wayne, Theresa Worman, Bill Dowling] That boy needs therapy (Psychosomatic) That boy needs therapy (Purely psychosomatic) That boy needs therapy Lie down on the couch, what does that mean? You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut! What does that mean? That boy needs therapy I'm gonna kill you, that boy needs therapy Rannygazoo, let's have a tune! Now when I count three That boy needs therapy He was white as a sheet And he also made false teeth [Verse] Avalanches above, business continues below us Did I ever tell you the story about Cowboys, and midgets, and the Indians and frontier psychiatrist? I felt strangely hypnotised I was in another world, a world of twenty thousand girls And milk and rectangles To an optometrist! The man with the golden eyeball And tighten your buttocks, more juice on your chin And I promised my girlfriend I'd play the violin [Refrain] Frontier psychiatrist Frontier, frontier, frontier, frontier psychiatrist Frontier, frontier, frontier, frontier psychiatrist Frontier, frontier, frontier psychiatrist Frontier, frontier, frontier, frontier psychiatrist [Chorus: Johnny Wayne, Theresa Worman, Bill Dowling] That boy needs therapy (Psychosomatic) That boy needs therapy (Purely psychosomatic) That boy needs therapy Lie down on the couch, what does that mean? You're a nut! You're crazy in the coconut! What does that mean? That boy needs therapy I'm gonna kill you, that boy needs therapy Rannygazoo, let's have a tune! Now when I count three That boy needs therapy He was white as a sheet And he also made false teeth [Refrain] Frontier psychiatrist [Outro: Theresa Worman] Can you think of anything else that talks other than a person? Uhm, a bird? Yeah! Sometimes a parrot talks Hello, hello, hello, hello Hello, hello, hello, hello Ha-ha-ha-ha-ha! Yes, some birds are funny when they talk Can you think of anything else? Um, a record? (A record, a record, a record)