Coffee Jim, the Trucker

Lyrics

Let me tell you about a truck driver I knew A long-run hauler, and a good one too Till somethin'-or-other started monkeyin' with the boy's mind He was takin' these things to keep him awake And he'd got ahold of somethin' he couldn't shake Coffee Jim didn't know where he was half the time Never seemed to have any appetite He'd just drink black coffee day and night 'Course, that's why they called him Coffee Jim He'd pull into a truck stop and get him one And then right before he was rеady to run He'd order him a bunch of 'em, and pay for cups to go Had a rеal spooky look about this face And a name for takin' loads to the wrong place Well, nobody'd give Coffee Jim anything to haul But ol' Jim wasn't about to give his drivin' up So he just kept pullin' that empty truck Back and forth across the USA He'd gear down low when he'd come to grade Pull into the scales, get his truck weighed Get on his C.B. now and then, and check on Smokey Six months of this, and Jim had nothin' left But one day sorta came to himself Sittin' in a produce terminal out in LA Some dockhands, a-figurin' ol' Jim was broke Just thought they'd ask him as a joke If he'd haul a load of dates to Hawai'i Ol' Jim nearly went right out of his mind He says, I'll go anywhere, anytime, man You just load 'em up, and ol' Jim-Boy's gone Jim found him a little coffee-stand He took somethin'-or-other out of his hand Rinsed 'er down with a swig of black coffee But while he was gone, 'steada loadin' dates They loaded his truck up with empty crates When Jim got back, they'd already locked the door Ol' Jim standin' there with coffee in hand Said, Looka here, fellas, I'm a businessman Now how do I get paid for this here load? They said it's all figured out by the sack, Jim You'll get paid when you come back Jim lit him a Marlboro and headed west People that saw him said he had no fear Just sailed off the end of that ocean pier Slowly disappeared beneath the foam They sent two divers down for Jim But they came back without him Said, Coffee Jim must've made one heck of a jump Two days went by, things were lookin' grim But the telephone rang––it was Coffee Jim Says, I'm dialing you direct from Honolulu Y'know, it rained like the devil on me all the way But I'll be back Friday to get my pay Hey, you boys be thinkin' of somethin' else for me to do, hear?