You Can’t Trust a Man

Lyrics

[HUGO] [spoken] Look at him go! I'd hate to let him get too far ahead... [CONSTABLE JOE] Well, a fella dressed in yellow isn't gonna be too hard to track [HUGO] Sure isn't a nice yellow [CONSTABLE JOE] Hugo There's no such thing as nice yellow I don't know, Hugo, I gotta bad feeling it's all gonna come apart like...wet bread [sung] You can't trust a man dressed in yellow Hugo Only a rogue wears that hue A man who is fondest Of suits that are jaundiced Puts the yolk on him And the joke On you They're tricksy All men dressed in yellow Something deadly in their livelihood He must be compensating [HUGO] Also fabricating [CONSTABLE JOE] [laughs] Hugo There you go again! "Fabric hating" If he hated the fabric he would have never bought the suit [sung] He must be compensating [HUGO] Also Lying [BOTH] 'Bout why he wants the Foster's wood [CONSTABLE JOE] Oh you can't trust a man dressed in yellow That I knew from his very first "hello" I should have locked him in a cell [BOTH] Oh, you can't trust a man- [HUGO] From the carnival! [CONSTABLE JOE] Also Carnival men can't be trusted Something wicked there brews underneath Those inbreds' regale ya With mad Bacchanalia They all share, maybe, eight teeth I say Carnival men can't be trusted! Flashy hobos, invading our towns They ask my permission To charge an admission To expose us to Charlatans, acrobats and- [stuttering] C-c-c- [HUGO] [spoken] Clowns, sir? [CONSTABLE JOE] [exhales deeply] I hate them [sung] Carnival men can't be trusted! They're all acutely maladjusted Who knows how their funnel cake is dusted [BOTH] No you can't trust a man- [HUGO] With a bad handshake! [CONSTABLE JOE] Did you notice his peculiar handshake? His fingers neither flaccid nor firm [HUGO] Like touching a porpoise [CONSTABLE JOE] No habeas corpus Can keep that fish [HUGO] [spoken] Mammal [CONSTABLE JOE] From serving full term Bad handshake, bad man [BOTH] Watch it if his grip lacks a squeeze [CONSTABLE JOE] And a carnival man can't be trusted [HUGO] As shifty as a swinging trapeze [BOTH] And you can't trust a man dressed in yellow! Even if you love cheddar cheese Commingle all of these You'll see the recipe's One bad man One bad man One bad man [CONSTABLE JOE] [spoken] Come along, Hugo Let's pick up the pace