To Know Someone Deeply Is to Know Someone Softly

Song Meaning

The lyrics open with a spoken invitation to release sorrow, setting a tone of gentle catharsis. The recurring refrain, "To know someone deeply / Is to know someone softly," establishes the central thesis: true intimacy requires a tender, vulnerable approach. This isn't about forceful understanding, but a quiet, receptive connection. The narrative then shifts to a vivid, almost biblical encounter in a "love garden." The speaker describes wrestling with an "angel" whose features are compared to divine imagery – "grapes of the vine" and "gates of Heaven." This intense, almost spiritual moment is framed by a desire for connection, not separation, as the angel is "made to be kissed / But not to kiss goodbye." The craft here is in the juxtaposition of the divine and the deeply personal. The speaker's desire to "play her like / A black grand piano / A clarinet / A minuet / Or lyric soprano" reveals a yearning to understand and express the beloved's essence through art. This contrasts with the earlier call to "let it go," suggesting that deep knowing involves both releasing pain and embracing the intricate beauty of another. Ultimately, the effectiveness lies in its gentle insistence on vulnerability as the path to profound connection. The repeated, almost mantra-like refrain, coupled with the imagery of a "safety zone" in the speaker's arms, creates a sense of profound peace and acceptance. It suggests that true intimacy is found not in overcoming struggle, but in softly holding it.