Should Have Known Better

Song Meaning

The lyrics open with a stark confession of regret: "I should have known better." This immediate self-reproach is tied to a "black shroud" that actively suppresses feelings, suggesting a long-standing emotional burden. The narrator appears trapped by an inability to fully process past events. A central tension emerges from this emotional suppression. The speaker laments not having written a letter to "grieve what I happen to grieve," indicating a deep-seated avoidance of pain. This avoidance is further complicated by a childhood memory: being left at a "video store" at a tender age, a moment that seems to anchor a lifelong distrust of feelings and a passive waiting "for the remedy." The recurring image of the "black shroud" is particularly potent. Initially, it's "holding down my feelings," then later, the narrator is "frightened by my feelings," desiring only "to be a relief." This internal struggle is externalized as a "demon had a spell on me," highlighting a sense of powerlessness over one's own emotional landscape. Yet, a fleeting moment of lightness, "light as a feather," suggests a yearning for escape from this heavy emotional state. The narrative shifts dramatically, however, from introspection and regret to a powerful external source of hope. The repeated directive, "Don't back down, concentrate on seeing," marks a turning point, urging presence and observation. The arrival of a niece, "My brother had a daughter," brings with it "illumination," suggesting that new life and connection can pierce through the darkness of the past, even if "nothing can be changed" about what has already occurred.