There’s Always a Woman

Lyrics

[CORA] There's always a woman To spoil the illusion The rotten banana That ruins the bunch It's always a woman Who causes confusion There's nothing as low as a woman... We must lunch [FAY, spoken] Love to.  [CORA, spoken] Noon-ish? [FAY, spoken] Tomorrow.  [CORA, spoken] Today.  [FAY, spoken] My place? [CORA, spoken] Mine.  [FAY] There's always a woman The one disappointment The note that goes sour And gums up the tune The ant at the picnic The fly in the ointment There's nothing as low as a woman... Ring me soon! [CORA, spoken] Love to.  [FAY, spoken] 'Voir.  [CORA, spoken] Leaving? [FAY, spoken] I thought... [CORA, spoken] I know.  [FAY, spoken] I tried.  [CORA & FAY] It's always a woman— The counterfeit check [FAY] The snake in the woodpile [CORA] The pain in the neck [CORA & FAY] The sand in the oyster That isn't the pearl There's nothing as low as a woman... Darling girl [CORA, spoken] Pet.  [FAY, spoken] Lamb.  [CORA, spoken] Dove.  [FAY, spoken] Fish.  [CORA] The run in the stocking The snag in the zipper The weather in London The water in France It's always a woman It's Jacqueline the Ripper There's nothing as low as a woman... Shall we dance? [FAY, spoken] Waltz? [CORA, spoken] Tango? [FAY, spoken] Can-can? [CORA, spoken] Rhumba? [FAY, spoken] Schottische? [CORA, spoken] Gavotte? [FAY, spoken] Cha-cha? [CORA, spoken] Tap? [FAY, spoken] Bolero? [CORA, spoken] Polka? [FAY, spoken] Bridge? [CORA, spoken] Two hearts.  [FAY, spoken] Three clubs.  [CORA, spoken] I pass.  [FAY, spoken] Uh huh.  [FAY] There's always a woman A crimp in the writing The hole in the sidewalk The gum on the shoe She almost looks human It must be the lighting Whatever it is, it's a woman How are you? [CORA, spoken] Fine.  [FAY, spoken] Pity.  [CORA & FAY] It's always a woman— [FAY] The hand in the till [CORA] The five-dollar diamond [FAY] The three-dollar bill [CORA & FAY] A genius for trickery That's second to none There's nothing as low as a woman— Isn't this fun? [CORA, spoken] Lovely.  [FAY, spoken] Charming.  [CORA, spoken] Delicious.  [FAY, spoken] Stunning.  [CORA, spoken] Fabulous.  [FAY, spoken] Gorgeous.  [CORA & FAY, spoken] Exquisite.  [CORA] A knife would be perfect [FAY] A gun would be perfect [CORA] It's quick and it's quiet [FAY] At least I could try it [CORA] I hear they do wonders— [FAY] And you can do wonders— [CORA] —With poisonous gas [FAY] —With slivers of glass [CORA] There's always the quarry [FAY] There's always curare [CORA] She'd never be found [FAY] I have some around [CORA] A noose is efficient— [FAY] Bamboo is efficient— [CORA] She won't make a sound [FAY] —As long as it's ground [CORA] Whatever will do it [FAY] Whatever will do it [CORA] If anything will [FAY] If anything will [CORA & FAY] There's nothing as low as a woman— [CORA, spoken] Sneak.  [FAY, spoken] Thief.  [CORA, spoken] Cheat.  [FAY, spoken] Crook.  [CORA, spoken] Frump.  [FAY, spoken] Fake.  [CORA, spoken] Bore.  [FAY, spoken] Bag.  [CORA, spoken] Leech.  [FAY, spoken] Crone.  [CORA, spoken] Witch.  [FAY, spoken] Ghoul.  [CORA & FAY, spoken] Police! Shoot to kill!