The One Feather Tail Of Miss Gertrude McFuzz

Lyrics

(GERTRUDE McFUZZ enters, carrying a small guitar.) [GERTRUDE McFUZZ] (spoken) "Love Song for Horton" Four Hundred and Thirty-Seven. (GERTRUDE begins to play and sing.) Doo doo, doo doo, doo doo, doo doo doo doo... [GERTRUDE] (singing) THERE ONCE WAS A GIRL BIRD NAMED GERTRUDE McFUZZ AND SHE HAD THE SMALLEST PLAIN TAIL EVER WAS. ONE DROOPY-DROOP FEATHER. THAT'S ALL THAT SHE HAD. AND OH! THAT ONE FEATHER MADE GERTRUDE SO SAD. SHE CURLED IT. SHE DYED IT. SHE GAVE IT A PUFF. SHE DECKED IT WITH FLOWERS BUT IT WASN'T ENOUGH. FOR NO MATTER WHAT, IT JUST WAS WHAT IT WAS: A TAIL THAT SIMPLY WASN'T MEANT TO CATCH THE EYE OF AN ELEPHANT... THE ONE FEATHER TAIL OF MISS GERTRUDE McFUZZ. (Now, to a Latin beat, the glitzy MAYZIE LaBIRD and her BIRD GIRLS appear. They eye GERTRUDE with scorn and pity.)