Taylor Swift

Lyrics

[Intro: Kellen McKay] Taylor Swift "Is this a single take 'cause" "I'd jump on his" "See what you've done" Everybody please welcome Nirvana! Fuck! Come on! Son of a bitch [?] [Skit] Dear Diary, oh my god i LOVE Chad, oh my god he's so cute! and I just wanna take him out and go rollerskating and go to the go hiking and go to the movies and maybe at the end we can- [Verse 1: Kellen McKay] No one actually knows what Taylor Swift was really thinking When she wrote all those songs about boys But we all know that John Mayer has a big penis Now let me be for real, I just got dropped by my agent And all my shows have gone out the door I'm ready to go to a nеw place and quit pretending that I'm from Baltimorе Taylor Swift ain't got the balls to write a Ska song And honestly she's smart for that All her fans would self destruct if she wrote a song that sucked as much as this one [Chorus: Kellen McKay] So, I need you to make me famous Because I'm pushing in my thirties and I'm getting kinda worried I'll never do my music for a living I said I'm pushing in my thirties and I'm getting kinda worried Oh Taylor Swift, please write a song about me Hey! [Verse 2: Vincent Walker] What does it take to write a hit song Everyone will listen to something relatable How about a feature with a much bigger artist singing on the verse and chorus (Yep! I'm as big as they get) One Xanax a day keeps my dark thoughts away And the doctor will say (And how are you today?) Fractions of pennies on the dollar doesn't fit my wallet When you listen to this one [Chorus: Vincent Walker] So, I need you to make me famous Because I'm pushing in my thirties and I'm getting kinda worried I'll never do my music for a living I said I'm pushing in my thirties and I'm getting kinda worried I'm pushing in my forties and I'm getting kinda worried I'll never do my music for a living I said I'm pushing in my fifties and I'm feeling kinda swiftie Oh Taylor Swift, please write a song about me Oh Taylor Swift, please write a song about me [Outro] "I'm fucking thirty-two now! Fuck!" "Actually wait am i thirty-? I'm thirty-one, I'm thirty-one!"