Pal-Yat-Chee

Lyrics

When we was in the city we was wonderin' where to go The sign spelled out PAL-YAT-CHEE there in lights above the show We thought 'twould be a western till the stage lit up with light And 97 people sung without a horse in sight We couldn't understand 'em 'cause they spoke a foreign tongue But we can give you some idea of what we think they sung: "Ridi, Pagliaccio Sul tuo amore infranto!" All at once, there's a fat guy in a clown suit 'Tain't Hallerween, that's for sure Then this here feller, this Punchineller He begins to beller, like we all was deef! "Ah, ha, ha, ha" That was Pal-Yet-Chee, and he sung: Invest in a tuba and somethin' or other about Cuba He sung about a lady who weighed two hundred 'n' eighty When she takes a powder he jest starts chirpin' louder And he don't do a gol durn thing 'cept to stand up there and sing When we listen to Pal-Yat-Chee we get itchy and scratchy This sure is top corn, so we go and buy some popcorn We hate to go back, but we cain't get our dough back And there ain't no use complainin' 'cause outside it's a-rainin' Seven hours later we're still in the dern theater Takin' turns a-nappin', a-waitin' for somethin' to happen Pal-at-Chee he ain't hurryin' but the folks on stage are flurryin' And it sounds like Khachaturian's Sabré Dance Then Ol' Pal-Yat-Chee finds a guy he's seekin' Cheek to cheekin' with his wife, he grabs a knife And stabs the louse who stole his spouse And then he stabs the lady and himself - 'Tain't very sanitary They all collapse, but ol' Pal-Yat-Chee sets up Then he gets up, sayin' "I'm dyin', I am dyin. I am dyin'" We start cryin' 'cause to tell the truth we're dyin' too As the footlights fade out we see Pal-Yat-Chee laid out But the dagger never caused it... Pal-at-Chee was plumb exhausted! "Ridi, Pagliaccio Sul tuo amore...BURP!"