Song Meaning

The narrator grapples with a destructive inner force, confessing a history of causing profound pain to someone they cared about. The lyrics paint a picture of self-inflicted torment, framing past failures as a "torture for your soul." This isn't just about personal mistakes; it's about a perceived internal battle, with "demons, who had climbed up from my own" steering their actions. The immediate emotional texture is one of deep regret and a chilling self-awareness of a recurring darkness. The central tension lies in the narrator's inability to control this "wickedness" that "comes over me again." They actively try to understand its nature, "how it feels" when it takes hold, suggesting a morbid fascination or a desperate attempt to gain agency. However, this self-examination is immediately followed by the devastating realization that they have "went too far," an action so severe that it prompts a final, definitive "goodbye" from the other person. The finality of this departure underscores the irreversible damage caused. The most striking craft element is the stark contrast between the narrator's internal struggle and the external consequences. While they are trying to "figure" out the "wickedness," the other person is left with "mental scars that never heal." The repeated phrase "comes over me again" emphasizes the cyclical, inescapable nature of this dark impulse. The narrator's attempt to shut out this internal reality by closing their eyes, "so I can't see / The dark that is inside of me," is a powerful image of denial in the face of undeniable destruction. These lyrics hit hard because they articulate a terrifying internal conflict that leads to external devastation. The raw confession of causing "mental scars" and the other person's final goodbye create a palpable sense of loss and irreversible damage. The narrator's self-awareness, though painful, makes the regret feel earned, highlighting the tragic outcome of being "steered by demons" and the ultimate cost of that internal battle.