Lyrics

[Dialogue from "Female Trouble," between Edith Massey and Michael Potter] [Aunt Ida Nelson:] "Have you met any nice boys in the salon?" [Gator:] "Oh, pretty nice." [Aunt Ida:] "I mean any nice queer boys. Did you fool with any of them?" [Gator:] "Aunt Ida, you know I dig women." [Aunt Ida:] "Aw, don't tell me that." [Gator:] "Christ, let's not go through this again." [Aunt Ida:] "All those beauticians, and you don't have any boy dates?" [Gator:] "I don't want any boy dates." [Aunt Ida:] "Oh honey, I'd be so happy if you turned nelly." [Gator:] "Hey, no way. I'm straight. I mean I like a lot of queers, but I don't dig their equipment, y'know? I like women." [Aunt Ida:] "But you can change. Queers are just better. I'd be so proud if you was a fag, and had a nice beautician boyfriend. I'd never have to worry." [Gator:] "There ain't nothing to worry about." [Aunt Ida:] "I'm worried that you'll work in an office, get married, have children, celebrate wedding anniversaries. The world of heterosexuals is a sick and boring life." [Gator:] "Sometimes I think you're fucking crazy. I'm real happy just the way I am." [Verse 1] People are telling me That I'm missing out on the fun 'Cause I don't go anywhere And I don't meet anyone But I know how rumors fly When you're a lonely guy And I'm here to tell you it's a lie [Verse 2] There's strange things going on At night most everywhere You know those places well And you've never seen me there I walk by other men And I don't notice them But then those rumors start again [Chorus] So I'm gonna tell the world I don't wanna be a homosexual I'm gonna find a girl 'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual I guess that it's okay If other guys are gay But my hormones are one-directional And I don't wanna be a homosexual [Verse 3] Somebody tell me what I did to start this talk Is it the way I look, is it the way I walk? Is it the clothes I wear That make the people stare? Is it the way I comb my hair? [Verse 4] I'm only hoping maybe there will come a day When I can make them understand that I'm not gay But till that day is here I guess I'll live in fear And I curse the day I pierced my ear [Chorus] There's nothing wrong with me I don't wanna be a homosexual Know what I want to be And I don't wanna be a homosexual Soft boys and closet queens Think Judy Garland's keen But I don't think she's nothing special And I don't wanna be a homosexual [Guitar Solo] [Verse 5] So now I'm wondering if maybe they're not right I've gone all paranoid and I can't sleep at night I went to see the shrink What did the doctor think? I swear to God I saw him wink [Chorus] I pray that I am wrong I don't wanna be a homosexual Why did I write this song If I don't wanna be a homosexual? I hope it's not too late For them to set me straight I'm gonna see a real professional 'Cause I don't wanna be a homosexual [Outro] No No, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no No, no, no, no, no, no I don't wanna be I don't wanna be I don't wanna be a homosexual I don't wanna go with guys named Seamus I don't wanna be rich and famous I don't wanna go to a French art festival I don't wannt be a homosexual I guess that it's okay If other guys are gay