The Pub That Doesn’t Sell Beer

Lyrics

The newspapers say random testing is here Now all Sydney drivers have dropped down a gear They've given up drinking, I think it's quite clear To go to a pub that doesn't sell beer Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all The old random test hasn't bluffed, never fear They only drink water, they've gone off the beer The drunk is a fool to drive in his car Chances are mounting he won't get too far They'll pull him on over, ready or not And give him a breath-test there on the spot The lawman says, "Driver, you're too drunk to drive "Lock up your car, you're over point-oh-five" The judge says, "Guilty, it's so plain to see "You should only drink water and be sober like me," hey Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all All over the state it's the same thing you'll hear They only drink water, they've gone off the beer Some ride their pushbikes, some ride the trains And Old Shanks's pony is in vogue again They'll feelin' so healthy, but one thing they fear A new kind of virus through lack of beer Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all Just think of the money you'll save every year When you only drink water and you've gone off the beer Now the publican says, "It's a bit of a joke "Now they only drink water and I thought I'd go broke" The barmaid's all cranky, but the boys give a cheer When the bloke down from Queensland orders a beer, hey Pass the ice water, you'll hear the call Put down your stubbies, your spirits, and all Oh, the old random test hasn't bluffed, never fear They only drink water, they've gone off the beer Yeah, pass the ice water, that's all you'll hear When you go to the pub that doesn't sell beer