Lyrics

[Intro] Hello! I'm the Minimum Wage Fairy And I'm here to tell you a story about the lonely Gingerbread Man The lonely Gingerbread Man flies high in the sky With only hatred as the apple in his eyes A hatred so severe it rots him to the bone "Why do I always get a fucking deck chair? Why can't I have a throne?" Now, now, Mr. Gingerbread Man, don't you cry Why have a throne down here? You have one in the sky... UK dogs! [Chorus] What ya havin' an EP launch for? Useless prick I donе three albums in eight months I don't fuckin' brag about it [Verse 1] I fuckin' shop old coffee, eat dry porridge And shit on thе street I got a high metabolism I shit about eighty five times a week I loop guitars 'Cause this is life in bars on Mars The mod that fell to Earth Well, it was a fucking case of having to, weren't it? Jason Tommy Williamson Has put the mug back into mod And it's free of charge For all you zombies to listen to Mod is once again a definite And vital English invention I've reinvented the code of dress And I've reinvented the fucking groove, thank you Now if you'll kindly let me and my family live in peace Please respect our privacy as valid fucking human beings [Chorus] What ya havin' an EP launch for? Useless prick I done three albums in eight months I don't fuckin' brag about it [Verse 2] I'll have that bird down in the fleece with the big eyes The one with the scarlet hair Can I have two pints of Carling, please? One for yourself, mate And do you fancy a drink sometime? "Yeah!" I got a big cock, it's a bloody python Take A&E a year to fucking siphon the semen outta ya Birds walkin' around lookin' like a fuckin' fish finger Finger ya, splitter, bird's eye mascot Don't want a lot, do ya? Not really Sick of these rock 'n' roll bores "I gave my life to rock 'n' roll"? You're a liar! You drive 'round in a Range Rover, don't ya? Splitter, splitters I got mates who were raped by their mums, dads, brothers, and sisters They don't give a shit, just get on with it Few drugs at the weekend and shit, just get on with it "I gave my life to rock 'n' roll"? You're a liar! Your bum's on fire, liar! Get back in ya fucking Range Rover [Chorus] What ya havin' an EP launch for? Ya clueless prick I done three albums in eight months I don't fuckin' brag about it [Verse 3] I slave away on a King's Cross night train Insane in the brain I drank so much I can't even remember Throwing my guts up outside the massage parlor Fifteen pound entry fee, choice of nine girls I just grabbed hold of the nearest fucking one Nicely a lass, nice heels on I'm not allowed to kiss her, but I'm allowed to fuck her up the shitter Lonely shitters, lonely East London shitters I want some company, not a fucking rape victim Lemme kiss ya! "What?" Lemme kiss ya! "What?" Lemme kiss ya! Yeah, fucking... fuck off then! [Chorus] What ya havin' an EP launch for? Useless prick I done three albums in eight months I don't fuckin' brag about it [Verse 4] The four dots, all coppers are bastards Don't talk fucking wet! I'd much rather get fined eighty pound for pissing on the street Than have a complete state of fucking chaos and shit People need controlling, most people are fucking thick People need telling what to do That's why Lily Allen's so big, fat bitch Fat fucking bitch [Outro] Fat fucking bitch Fat fucking bitch Fat fucking bitch Fat fucking bitch