Ballad of a Social Director

Lyrics

[ITCHY] Have i got a story It's tragical and sad About a certain character A promising young lad Just the type of feller That makes our country hum He might have been our president So what did he become? What did he become? A social director A social director Up here at Camp Karefree, a social director Someone should have told him Not to be so dumb Off his trolley, goodbye charlie Now he has become A social director! [ENSEMBLE] Laugh, Itchy! Clown, Itchy! Jump, Itchy! Down, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ENSEMBLE] Do a funny, make with jests Entertain the paying guests! Fast, Itchy! Slow, Itchy! Stop, Itchy! Go, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ITCHY] When they broke the news To his parents old and grey His family and relatives All fainted dead away When their friends revived them They gave out with a moan All the folks from miles around Could hear them cry and groan "Oh, woah, woah A social director! A social director! Don't tell us our boy Is a social director! Let him be a loafer Let him be a bum Anything is better than A boy he should become A social director!" [ENSEMBLE] Laugh, Itchy! Clown, Itchy! Jump, Itchy! Down, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ENSEMBLE] Do a crazy, make with jokes Be a comic for the folks Fast, Itchy! Slow, Itchy! Stop, Itchy! Go, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ITCHY] Have yourselves a good time Laugh and joke between ya's Nobody around this place Can recognize a genius Little do you all suspect As i make hotsy totsy You're looking at a sample Of a modern Pagliacci Vesti la giuba! Director di sociale! Social director! What do they expect from a social director? [ITCHY, spoken] Nothing—nothing much Only he should have the best qualities Of the following personalities [ITCHY] He should be: Emily Post and Sigmund Freud Superman and William Boyd [?] Hutton and Danny Kaye Sir Laurence Olivier William Tilden, Audubon Charlie Chaplin, Thomas Mann Arthur Murray, Cary Grant Solomon and Charley's aunt Milton Berle, Professor Kinsey [?] 'n Howard Lindsay Georgie Jessel, Duke of Windsor Casanova, Ezio Pinza Tyrone Power, Eisenhower! [ENSEMBLE] Laugh, Itchy! Clown, Itchy! Jump, Itchy! Down, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ENSEMBLE] Make us laugh and make us roar That's what you are hired for Fast, Itchy! Slow, Itchy! Stop, Itchy! Go, Itchy! Dance, dance, dance! [BOYS] Pep up! Pep up! [ALL] Dance, dance, dance Dance, dance, dance Dance, dance, dance, dance!