20.

Lyrics

[Intro] Yuh [Verse] Back of the venue, my homies tearin' the stage up Flippin' through my sketchbook, doodlin' every page up So many ideas flowin' out of my brain, bruh I wonder what it's like to have came up Payin' bills from rap I wonder how many days until I make a million tracks I wonder how many verses killed, I'm keepin' stored in the back My thinking cap, am I greedy for being hungry? I do this for the art, not the money, but the money's nice I always think my idols don't do this for the money, right? I speak into my microphone so much that it's funny, right? My homies thirty, hope I do this shit in my twenties right I'm fuckin' up, I fear I do nothin' right when I'm acin' Freddy Krueger, Jason and rappin' are both adjacent 'Cause to me, I'm slashin' dreams that I'm havin', just to get payment Dream chasin', gettin' in stickier situations that I would if I was working a nine-to-five with a wage and I think I'm going crazy, just layin' inside my house If the music doesn't work out, then I'm fucked I can almost taste it Just keep your head straight, girl, and try to secure these placements And don't go makin' a move to fuck up the progress you're making Hold up First of December, I barely lived through November Feel like my brain gettin' tenderized after changin' my gender Newer hormones kickin' in, tryna keep a low temper How can I render the way that I feel without soundin' stupid? I know I'm not, but you'd think I was the way that I'm movin' My homies gettin' more distant, my family gettin' more clueless My days are passin' me by as depression gettin' more rooted In my life Fuck up my mood, I could cry, whatever I'm doing Now I'm sensitive, used to have the thickest skin Worried 'bout my penmanship, newer feelings kickin' in Wanna hit the pen and shit, but I'm too worried I'll get sick of chasin' after Benjamins, and be okay not hittin' shit, yuh I'm so afraid I'm gon' lose my drive Look up in my mirror everyday, askin', "Who am I?" My granny don't remember me at all, getting dewy-eyed My momma see I'm tryin' not to go through with suicide Nobody really know me outside of my computer My family think I'm going crazy 'cause I stay up from two to five My life won't get threw aside, I'm gettin' my shit together But hopefully my music, unlike me, wanna live forever I hope so, yeah [Outro] Yeah, I hope so Live forever, I hope so