Lyrics

[Spoken] Hello Ken! Well, here we are again: another Friday night I heard someone singing about you on the radio Well, what can I get you? That's two light and bitters then Before you start Ken, let's keep it clean [Verse 1] I went out with a famous DJ's sister's friend I was on Crackerjack at the age of 10 [oh really!] And I saw the Sex Pistols play down the 100 Club [yeah, we all did...] And I spent New Year's Eve at Sensible's den [Chorus 1] Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales in the life of Ken McKenzie Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales in the life of Ken McKenzie [Spoken] What, you're drinking fast tonight Ken Well, I've been a bit off me beer since you gave me that home brew What did you put inside it–neat alcohol? I like a strong beer Ken, but that was... ridiculous [Verse 2] I lost a thousand pounds playing Brag last night [come off it Ken] I flew to Amsterdam to start a riot [oh, really?!] And I once saw the Palace score four goals away from home [oh yeah?!] And I've won every game of Trivial Pursuit I've ever played [you haven't played me Ken] [Chorus 2] Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales in the pub with Ken McKenzie Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales (now then, now then) Preposterous tales in the life of Ken McKenzie [Spoken] Same old stories, eh Ken? "Ken's drinking heavily again!" Nothing changes Is it my round again? I thought I got the last? How much money did you bring out with you? I've got me cashpoint card if necessary If necessary?! So come on, let's have some more yarns [Verse 3] I once ate six Mars Bars in half an hour [did you Ken?] While working on a site I unearthed a bomb [oh, did you Ken?] And I once had a shower with two American girls [what, at the same time Ken? Arrrgh, that's preposterous!] [Chorus 1] [Spoken] Well, I have nothing left to say Ken Well let's have one for the road Ah, why not? [Chorus 1] [Dialogue] Come on Ken, it's time to go Oh, it's a late bar tonight Did I tell you the story about when I apprehended a mugger outside Brixton Tube? I've heard it all before What do you mean you don't believe me?! It's true! It's true man! Everything I say is true! Yeah, yeah I don't believe you Ken