Song Meaning
Sharon Van Etten's "In Line" isn't a song so much as a confession whispered in the dead of night. It's an exploration of agency, or rather, the lack thereof, set against a backdrop of murky relationships and the slow, painful crawl toward self-discovery. The opening lines paint a picture of naive vulnerability, a past self "tempted in dark, waiting for love." This sets the stage for the central tension: the struggle to define oneself outside the expectations and influence of others, particularly within the context of romantic entanglement. The repeated assertion, "I was just a child then," serves not as an excuse, but as a stark acknowledgement of the power dynamics at play.
The core of the song meaning resides in the image of being "in line." It suggests conformity, obedience, and a relinquishing of personal will. The repeated phrase becomes almost hypnotic, mirroring the feeling of being trapped in a cycle of dependency. Yet, there's a subtle rebellion simmering beneath the surface. Van Etten acknowledges the comfort of having someone "telling me what to do," especially when "the world was shitty then," but this reliance comes at a cost – the suppression of her own identity. The line "Tumbling right into ghosts / It's not such a sin" hints at the moral ambiguity of these choices, the way we justify self-abandonment in the name of love or security.
As the song progresses, a glimmer of hope emerges. The repetition of "It's coming through" suggests a breakthrough, a newfound clarity that pierces through the darkness. This "distant light in line" represents the possibility of reclaiming one's self, even within the confines of expectation. The final lines, "Even in line / I wait for another / Don't you?" are particularly poignant. They acknowledge the universal human desire for connection, but also imply a shift in perspective. The speaker is no longer passively waiting; she is actively choosing to wait, perhaps with a greater sense of self-awareness and intention. Sharon Van Etten's "In Line," therefore, becomes a haunting meditation on the complexities of love, identity, and the enduring quest for autonomy.