Sassy Britches

Lyrics

[Verse 1] I once knew a girl named Sassy Britches And she would call my name three thousand times a day She was running 'round town burning bridges Now my ride home's never quite the same I once knew a girl named Sassy Britches And I swear unto you it's her God-given name I told her friends they're stuck-up bitches And now my napkin's soaked with bloodstains [Pre-Chorus] The more you learn the less you know I'll bet everything is fine I'll bet everything is fine The more you see the less you show [Chorus] Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time [Verse 2] Her family showered me with countless riches Yet I'm in a bit of a bind, I need much more than that Maybe I could sell her cooking, classy (tasty) delicious dishes Then give my spiel about how it's imported [Pre-Chorus] The less you seed the more you grow I'll bet nothing is on time I'll bet nothing's ever on time The more you see the less you show [Chorus] Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time I need something I can't find Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time This shit happens all the time [Break] [Verse 3] I still know a girl named Sassy Britches And her voice comforts me flying right through thin air Now I've taken time off work to protest her wishes But no one's ever around, is there anyone there, anyone there? [Pre-Chorus] The more you learn the less you know I'll bet you're all out of line (Turn around with the wrong reaction) I'll bet you're all out of line (Fake us out with a cheap distraction) The more you reap the more you owe [Chorus] Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time Oh yeah everything is fine This shit happens all the time Oh yeah, everything is fine This shit happens all the time [Bridge] Oh Miss Britches, sassy and sweet Tell me what more could a young girl be? I've got a punk rock band called Love We've got songs that consist of 8-bar sections, gritty and brash We got a gig opening for The Clash Everyone clowned us, Sassy, oh, Sassy What makes a punk rocker treat us so nasty? Mountain Dew and a pierced eardrum What makes a punk rocker act so dumb? Velvet postcards I'll send ya, Miss Britches Bit my tongue and received nine stitches Bitches and hoes always come to the shows Popping sugar and butterscotch in the nose and it shows 'Cause they'll lose their hair like Ted Danson Snatch up all the kiddies and then hold 'em all for ransom Burnin' all your bridges and then build 'em back with plastic Little old ladies makin' cookies from elastic Ha, and it don't stop there! Ex-bass players all have blue hair Boo-boop-be-doop-a-shang-a-lang-Cocoa-Puff Kurt Haggadorn has a Self Big Muff Betcha makes ya dizzy watch the big wax spin Turn it up to 20, just a suggestion