Lyrics

[Coach] What do you weigh, kid? A buck 55? [Farley] I'm not that vain I'm not into my size [Coach] There are other games that are more appropriate for you to play [Ace] Like checkers, like chess, and crocquet [Farley] Well, I've always been taught to see things through To my heart, always be true [Coach] Hallmark, I'm sure, would be so proud To hear you voice their sentiments out loud But a well-placed fart would knock you down If the Moose meant harm, you'd be in a hospital gown This is the toughest league in the land You'll never survive so become a fan {Farley} Just because I still have my front teeth Don't assume that I can't compete Though I might not come with a hockey pedigree Why can't I still dream of being the next Crosby? {Coach} You've never played the game {Ace} No one even knows your name {Coach} Hockey legends don't happen overnight {Ace} It takes a bunch of years {Coach} And a bucket full of tears And to put you in the game is suicide