Craig’s List

Album cover art for "Craig’s List" by Schäffer the Darklord

Schäffer the Darklord - Pop

Craig’s List

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Duration: 3:45

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Which came first, the chicken or the egg? And which is worse, a good idea that fails or a bad one with legs? To be terse, your pardon I beg This first verse is the story of a boy named Craig Newmark, whose arc did start while parked at a job Doing computer security for Charles Schwab In '94 the bubble was still just a little glob of bubble gum And no one knew the trouble'd come Craig was among the elite geek e-community The few proud who traded data electronically And to all his friends with which he shared such cameraderie He would send out a list of events that he wanted to see And that's how it all got started His idea hatched, took flight and departed Not so much a revolution as an e-solution Then a friend said "Can I use the list to rent my apartment?" And another said "I'd like to sell my car on your list." "And I'd like to find that girl from the party I kissed." Another one tried to find the watch knocked off his wrist And another found a temp gig as an admin assist Chorus: He's makin' a list (what?) He's makin' a list (who?) He's makin' a list (Craig?) He's makin' a list (yeah) Repeat Chorus Well, before you know it it exploded overnight What was once a list was now a website But to his nerd values, Craig did stay true Gave some jobs to his friends, refused all advertising too And what's so great is that the users really run it Actin' like God, c'mon, everybody's done it! You're readin' the list, you check a suspicious ad And like a citizen's arrest you click and give it a flag Miscategorized ads are sent for review As well as the spam, which is prohibited too Craig has faith, you will behave with civility Although the list is still rife with illegal activity Repeat Chorus 2x Get a job or a haircut, sublet your house Buy a stolen bicycle, cheat on your spouse Hire an intern, post your resume Find a kinky pen pal you can IM all day Sell some concert tickets (click it) buy some used skis Give or get a blowjob, maybe a disease Find a bassist for your band and then post up a show Find a speed or coke dealer searching Tina or Snow Find homes for puppies, have phone sex with yuppies See pics of erections, or place a missed connection Find your lost journal and find a ride to Burning Man Or find an LTR in a personal ad Buy yourself some bootleg DVDs Find a horny tweaker for some PNP Log on after 3 when all the users are usin' And the list is all electronic cruisin' Join a study group or a community garden Find a leather nipple pain pig and beg his pardon Post in a forum, find you a ride share Activity partners, is right above child care I'd like to thank Craig for all of his aid In finding me roommates and a job that well paid I placed up an ad for ten days, it stayed And I'm afraid that Craig's list has even gotten me laid Women seeking women seeking men seeking other Seeking friends of Susan seeking her long-lost brother Seeking work, seeking rooms, seeking a fling Seeking out the god-damn weirdest things Anything you can think, including dirty deeds Use Craig's list, you're guaranteed to succeed That's right, and you just might even find it for free Like Snoop said, "never have a want, never have a need." Repeat Chorus 2x Outro: He's makin' a list (what?) He's checkin' it twice (who?) He sees you when you're sleeping (Craig?) Cause he's up all night (yeah) This is the only song ever written (what?) 'bout a website (who?) Called Craigslist. You write a (Craig?) Line that rhymes with dot-org. (yeah) Repeat Outro He's makin' a list (what?)

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