Lyrics

Children of Satan, please gather round and hear my story I intend to descend to the end, my friend, and omit all details gory I'm sorry, but like Maury the Canadian said, "That's just how it goes!" We begin one morning after one of my red-hot sold-out hip-hop shows Our story begins at four and you whore and to me that's morning I implore you not find this too boring so I'll just cut to the chase It was pouring, I was sore and stumbled through the studio door and You see, I like to record my snoring so I had to turn off the tapes And through the stench of puke and pissing I still noticed something missing I listened to reason, rеalized and gave my eyеs a rub. Man... Last night I was outta site tight on the mic, all right But I should have used foresight and drank light, cause I left my mics at the club Now "Fuck! Fuck! Fuck!" This is a problem and then I start to panic Cause when I go out and about in crowds I get mobbed by mad fanatics And syphilis addicts, paparazzi, disco balls and confetti So I watch the Thursday night sitcoms and eat some fucking spaghetti And get dressed to kill, to the nines, I'm fine, breaking hearts Looking good in new school clothes my mom bought me at K-Mart Lock up, pull my sock up, and walk up to catch a taxi To the club, but Thursday's metal night, so no one will harass me Or ask me for autographs, see, cause I don't go to these shows, gee Never ever met a metalhead that said she or he even knows me I find it unkind that inter-scene classism leaves us blind So I decide to find my mics and stay behind cause I got an open mind Now, it should be noted that I voted against playing metal when I was loaded As a kid in my folks abode I know I wrote it on the wall But in my adult age I turned a page that day as I saw this band on the stage The drummer, man, the drummer I saw, she made my jaw fall [Chorus] And now I'd like to thank our lord who art in Hades For bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies Perfect in every way except she's from another scene White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen Now I'd never seen anyone play like this, ever look so enraged and pissed Ever slay a fucking stage like this, I'd never felt any less gay than this I mean it, I'd NEVER seen it, such furious fingers and fast feet Everlasting stamina, master of the blast beat And OK, there were two guitarists, a bassist, of course a keyboardist But for this performance I swore it was only her in the spotlight She was fearless, I stood the nearest, you hear this? Dry-mouthed and beerless Peering at her appearance, such a wicked lovely sight Newly-dyed black hair, pale tattooed skin, yikes! Elbow-to-wrist gauntlets of black leather and spikes And as she played, her eyes closed, her mouth open, I felt faint As fake blood spilled out her lovely mouth and smeared her corpse paint She's leaving every drumhead dimpled and cracks in every cymbal These beats are like karate on speed and she makes it seem so simple And for the encore she roared more as I was licking my.. Lips, she broke off one of her tips, it was sticking in my eye I waited outside near the van in which her band rides I'd decided inside to try and say "hi" as she left the place She stumbled out and fumbled about with her double kick drums out I said "Good show," she said "I know," and spit whiskey in my face Now I'm not really used to abuse like this - my crowds, my fans, my ass, they kiss But his insolence was just like bliss and I didn't know what to do So I said "My name is STD, that stands for Schaffer the Darklord, see?" And she didn't care, she simply stared and only replied "Who?" I know, I know, at this point all things seem a no-go But I didn't even know her band's name cause I couldn't read the logo And even so, I made a go even though we're an odd mix I said "Can I get your number?" She said "666." [Chorus] And now I'd like to thank our lord who art in Hades For bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies Perfect in every way except she's from another scene White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen Can you even believe this? Our love is sceneless, I wear Adidas And she wears leather, but we're together, and it just gets better every day The greatest MC in the world, the metal world's most wicked girl But the separate scenes seem to have their two cents to say The hip-hop kids hate metal, the headbangers don't like rap But both sides hate rap metal which is a no-brainer cause it's crap So we estimate that's why they hate we date, they speculate a fate Worse than a burnt church should we choose to collaborate So instead we cross over without stalling in someplace dumb I teach her some turntablism, she teaches me the drums She hums, and she's got blisters on her thumbs from bass-strumming Some callouses on her hands from all the drumming or something Oh man, nothing compares to the feelings that we receive when we Successfully infiltrate each other's scenes Now I'm playing guitar solos at the clubs on Thursday nights And she's throwing devil horns to all the heads at hip hop open mics And the crowds are none the wiser, we're both respected by the other's friends Cause our love transcends the binds of record store bins And in the end the rumor flies, they're surprised they realized That they like each other's music seen through someone else's eyes So fuck Kid Rock, fuck Rage and I.C.P But God bless Burzum and Snoop D. O. double G Did I say God? Well I meant Lucifer, for sure Cause my lady worships the devil, my friend, and I worship her [Chorus] And now I'd like to thank our lord who art in Hades For bringing me the queen of all the heavy metal ladies Perfect in every way except she's from another scene White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen White boy rapper, black metal queen