It Depends On What You Pay

Lyrics

[EL GALLO, spoken] The cost, señor, depends on the quality of the "rape" [BELLOMY, spoken] No [EL GALLO, spoken] Forgive me, the attempted "rape" The abduction, the seizure, the raid, the chase! In your case, I think I would recommend a "First Class" [BELLOMY, spoken] You mean we get a choice? [EL GALLO, spoken] Yes, of course! And with regular union rates, it depends on what you pay [EL GALLO] Pay! Pay! Pay! You have to pay So come on and pay We've the obvious open schoolboy chase With little mandolins and a fast embrace A childish prank, it's little in request A first class raid, that is what I would suggest Just try to see it! And you will soon agree, señors Why invite regret When you can order an abduction you will never forget? An abduction that's emphatic An abduction that's polite An abduction done with Indians A truly charming sight [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] Indians? [EL GALLO] An abduction done on horseback They all say it's new and gay So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay It depends on what you pay [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] The kids will love it! It depends on what you— [BELLOMY, spoken] Pay! [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] So why be stingy? It depends on what you— [EL GALLO] A spectacular raid With costumes ordered from the East Requires rehearsal And takes a dozen men at least [BELLOMY, spoken] Twelve men? [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] That's a dozen [EL GALLO] A couple of singers And a string quartet A major production Requires a set [BELLOMY, spoken] That sounds expensive [EL GALLO] Just try to see it! And you will soon sí, sí, señors Why invite regret When you can order an abduction you will never forget? An abduction that's emphatic An abduction that's polite An abduction done with Indians A truly charming sight An abduction done on horseback They all say it's distingué! So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay! [EL GALLO & HUCKLEBEE] So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay! [EL GALLO] It depends on what you pay! [HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY, spoken] So why be stingy? It depends on what you pay (Pay! Pay! Pay!) The kids will love it! It depends on what you— [EL GALLO] The comic snatch Perhaps it's just a trifle too unique The pastorale Done while canoeing on a moonlit creek [BELLOMY, spoken] That's kind of pretty.  [EL GALLO] The gothic grope I play "Valkyrie" on a bass bassoon The drunken brawl I fight the boy inside a cheap saloon [BELLOMY, spoken] Nothing cheap! [EL GALLO] Perhaps you'd like a special rape ballet I make an entrance doing grand jeté Ballet's expensive but it's in demand The military siege is done with drummers and a band You understand? [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] I understand! [EL GALLO] It's very grand! [BELLOMY, spoken] It's very grand! [EL GALLO] It's done with drums and a great big brass band! Yeah! [HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY, spoken] Hoo, woo hah [BELLOMY, spoken] It's so Spanish! That's why I like it! [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] I like it too! Ay-yi-yi-yi! [EL GALLO] Just try to see it! [BELLOMY] I see it! [HUCKLEBEE] I see it! [EL GALLO] And you will soon sí, sí, señors [EL GALLO, HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY] Why invite regret When you can order an abduction you will never forget? [HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY, EL GALLO] An abduction that's emphatic (Just pay!) An abduction that's polite An abduction done with Indians (And pay!) A truly charming sight An abduction done on horseback (And pay!) They all say it's new and gay [EL GALLO, HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY] So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay [HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY, EL GALLO] So you see the masquerade depends on what you pay! (Pay!) Depends on what you pay Depends on what you pay Depends on what you pay [EL GALLO, HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY] Depends a lot on what you— [HUCKLEBEE, spoken] I say they're only young once. Let's order us a "First Class!" [EL GALLO, HUCKLEBEE & BELLOMY] Pay! Olé!