Lyrics

[Verse 1: Both Wives, Wife 1] A pair of goodwives sat a-stitchin' And gossiping, griping and gritchin' Said one to the other, "Sometimes I could smother My husband, oh don't you agree?" If he's not at the alehouse a-ravin' Then he's gambling the money I'm savin' With all of this strife, I am sure that the life Of a spinster'd be better for me [Chorus: Both Wives] We're wonderin' where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em just stay as they be? Oh, where do we get 'em And why don't wе let 'em Stay filthy and feral and free? Thеy're messy, they smell And they curse and they yell And they don't ever do any chores Though mine is a beast, I'm happy at least I didn't get married to yours [Verse 2: Wife 2] Oh, you don't know the way that I suffer From the one I call husband and lover For the latter is such that he don't think of much Or perhaps he just don't know the word For when in our blankets we huddle Well, I don't get so much as a cuddle Oh I'd rather be dead than put horns on his head But the thought has most surely occurred [Chorus: Both Wives] We're wonderin' where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em just stay as they be? Oh, where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em Stay filthy and feral and free? They're messy, they smell And they curse and they yell And they don't ever do any chores Though mine is a beast, I'm happy at least I didn't get married to yours ​ [Verse 3: Wife 1] My dear I don't see how you do it Your wedding day, how you must rue it In church how he chatters of bawdy house matters Oh how do you not simply die He always tracks mud on your floors And how do you sleep while he snores? His voice is so loud it could silence a crowd Oh you have much harder than I ​ [Chorus: Both Wives] We're wonderin' where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em just stay as they be? Oh, where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em Stay filthy and feral and free? They're messy, they smell And they curse and they yell And they don't ever do any chores Though mine is a beast, I'm happy at least I didn't get married to yours [Verse 4: Wife 2] Though some of your words may be true, dear I've got it much better than you, dear Your husband can't sing, though he tries, you poor thing Always songs about wenches and war And when he's not singing he's smoking With that stench how do you keep from choking Though mine is no saint, a chimney he ain't Hey—how did you know that he snores? [Chorus: Both Wives] We're wonderin' where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em just stay as they be? Oh, where do we get 'em And why don't we let 'em Stay filthy and feral and free? They're messy, they smell And they curse and they yell And they don't ever do any chores Though mine is a beast, I'm happy at least I didn't get married to yours