Virtue’s Last Reward

Lyrics

[Intro: Ben Schuller] My virtues paid It's my last reward [Verse 1: RUSTAGE] Only started rapping 'cause somebody said I couldn't Kept on making music 'cause nobody said I shouldn't Never thought I'd make it but nobody said I wouldn't When you've done it long enough you get out what you put in I was never special but I had passion and put the work in All I made was garbage I didn't need to be perfect It is kinda freeing to know that you don't deserve it Did this for myself so I didn't need to be nervous Did this for myself so I didn't need to be hurting Focused on the music and everything I was learning I was having fun with it, never needed a purpose Earnest, I was just happy they could've heard it Burn it, I feel that feeling has been deserted I'm sick of making music, sick of feeling like I'm worthless Sick of staying up all night and stressing bout my words and now I'm sick of All the pressure that's rising up to the surface [Chorus: Ben Schuller] I've been drowning in the silence of a bad dream They all love it but don't know a thing about me Body running on a mix of stress and caffeine Nothing's changing, they are moving on without me I paved my way to the top So what I don't even know what it's all for I've made mistakes that I've not forgot My virtues paid It's my last reward [Verse 2: RUSTAGE] I don't even listen to other music, that people make I can't help comparing and driving my fucking self insane All my peers around me keep on pushing hard to innovate I'm just so exhausted but I'm trying not to feel ashamed Feel Ashamed Fuck I should be happy but I cannot help to feel this way Every night it feels the same Every night I'm struggling to live up to the bar they raised Every word I write I hate I don't even feel like I belong on stage Shut down the voice in my head I should just do this for me (I should just do this for me) I do not know what I want I do not know what I need (I do not know what I need) People keep giving me love And they want me to succeed (And they want me to succeed) I have no drive anymore I do not have any dreams (I do not have any dreams) [Chorus: Ben Schuller] I paved my way to the top So what I don't even know what it's all for I've made mistakes that I've not forgot My virtues paid It's my last reward [Bridge: RUSTAGE] Where did the fun go Where did the joy after making a song go How did it get so aggressive and cutthroat Heart is not in it I'm stopping the blood flow Stopping the clock Stopping the journey I feel like I'm lost Stopping to think of the things I've forgot I cannot be who I am with this weight on my back I will never be someone I'm not [Chorus: Ben Schuller] I've been drowning in the silence of a bad dream They all love it but don't know a thing about me Body running on a mix of stress and caffeine Nothing's changing, they are moving on without me I paved my way to the top So what I don't even know what it's all for I've made mistakes that I've not forgot My virtues paid It's my last reward Woaah It's my last reward Woaah It's my last reward