The Saurus vs. Laugh N Stalk

Lyrics

[Round 1: Laugh N Stalk] So I typically write rhymes to get the crowd excited But up here? No reaction, just the sound of silence But that's fine by me I don't need a loud environment And if you lose, you can say that the...CLOUD was biased! Shout out to Mad Illz! The cloud was "by us", that's wordplay, I'm really good Shout out to Mad Illz! May God rest his soul And I just honestly hope that your content is dope If you think my head's in the clouds, well, you're just lost in the smoke 'Cause those gassed-up rounds won't keep this contest afloat! People might watch this and think the concept's a joke Sky's the limit, I admit, it's nonsense for sho' The fans might think you falling off, but I will not let you go 'Cause if you did fall off...everything you'd land on is TOAST! I'm a cold rhymer Coal miner: all my prospects are gold Spray the can if you're bugging: this is not pest control Shoot up your apartment until your complex is ghost And I won't talk about your face I think your complexion's dope If you think this battle is gonna be easy, just don't There's a difference between comedically dope and just being a joke To say you're giving a shot to me is a hoax I'll put this can to your mouth: I'm just feeding the G.O.A.T! Besides, this is your first battle ever with guaranteed high views! I'll take an L when pigs fly...apparently, I lose! I hope to God I never become a parody like you Cause everything about you has aged terribly...times two! President Trump once said he uses "the BEST words" Yet, I'm the one who convinced you to come get worked If you think that's a mistake, well, it just gets worse 'Cause that was Round 1, and...I just left Earth! [Round 1: The Saurus] First off, I gotta thank Jeff Foxworthy for Taking a day off from the Blue Collar Comedy Tour But I bet Mad Illz is pissed off 'Cause he could never get this idea to lift off And he sold Grind Time for half the price of what three tickets for this cost! After ELEVEN years, the best concept in battling is finally put to use Because any excuse to troll Mad Illz is a good excuse! But look at you! Life came full circle, the footage looped Straight up, rook, it's not your night You'll catch an L making crooked moves That's two to his chest piece Student against teach' To beat junkies got nothing to do with the techniques I set records, it used to be what I do to make ends meet Then I made moves, while life made you move where the meth's cheap! But who would've guessed that we'd balloon beyond the limits? I'll break you down over these three rounds: that's Newton's Laws of Physics I met your girl, the bitch blew: she went Veruca Salt with it Weekly Battle Feed was cancelled 'cause they put too much Stalk in it! You're all gimmicks, I'm authentic: it's common sense Is he dope? Wilson from Home Improvement: I'm on the fence You were a body double for Goose on the Top Gun set When you asked me to smuggle you a balloon of heroin, this is not what I thought you meant! Go 'head [Round 2: Laugh N Stalk] Remember when PoRich and Diaz smoked your boots? You probably should've stopped there, it's true It's funny a couple of gambling addicts lost to a flopped pair of twos You know what rhymes with "I do not care for you?" Hot air- fuck you! This battle's got me feeling like Scott Hall today, fam' Catching bodies in the air like it's a fallaway slam You left Cali to count cards What an awesome game plan! What, the 831 just ain't as fun to Monte-Rain Man? Your diet consists of a pile of chips, and I ain't talking 'bout the casino Got big brother fighting for the power of veto I'm running through the game, God mode without a cheat code You're the best battle rapper...four hours from Reno And I'll leave you with a nasty ass bruise that looks like a Ghastly tattoo That's a Pokemon bar, I know how much you're a fan of that move If I had your girl, I would ravage that, too Roll in paint, fuck her in a canvas back room And name the art piece "The Saurus Is a Sad and Fat Dude" This a quarterback versus a quarter-pounder, this is not a game You run the same route every time, I got the hottest plays For starters, even my back ups are not the same Throwing bullets through the nickel in the shotgun for long range!? God dang! What I'm trying to say is I got huge arm cannons I also have huge cannon arms Shoot passes that do damage to Shannon Sharpe If he says he's got a nice hand, it's called bluff This man's a mark, one deck and he's upset Only losers like to get mad in cards And I'm sick of people saying that I end my rounds awkwardly... [Round 2: The Saurus] It was almost too ridiculous to say "yes" when this battle was offered But I'd hate to burst your bubble now because...that would be awkward But to me, you've always been a suspect rapper And by that, I mean an actual rape case suspect captured I'll make this young Ned Flanders take one step backwards And the next scene will be...edited due to subject matter That makes one less actor who took my game plan and copied it It's name brand to knockoff, he can't pass it off a bit We're in a four-person basket 'cause he can't pack an audience Hotels.com: thanks, Captain Obvious! Call me Grim Reaper, the bearer of bad news And while you're at it, send his family an American folded flag too I bet you have tattoos of Confederate statues 'Cause how else you gonna cover up heroin scab wounds? Who needs a Mossberg to go "pop" to know if he got murdered or not? I'll punch so many holes in him it'll leave crop circles in Stalk Watch, it's clockwork, shit's a lot worse than you thought A long walk off a short cliff, a wrong turn off the dock So stop, or I'll sock somebody And we can change this plot summary to Boiler Room 'Cause I'm cashing in while Stalk's plummeting [Round 3: Laugh N Stalk] So that last round I had some stuff with, uh, football and a casino And this one starts off about fighting games Because if I start to punch the square, it's 'cause you are one You'll take this L, too- why do people write this way? It seems all they're trying to say is, "I did not go outside today." But your last matches? I saw them...not awesome It seems like you suffer from a "don't know when to stop" problem But retirement's an option, so you went with the Stalk option Now I'm dropping bombs on Peter from above like the Hobgoblin Ring ring, uh, sorry about that "Hello? Yeah, I'll be back to run things tomorrow" Sorry 'bout that, that was the BLOCK calling! It seems like most people are scared to tell you the truth But I'm afraid that I got to You've had some nice parking in battle rap, but someone's taking that spot soon I remember when you had blogs talking, you were the top dude But then that thought process was dropped when we saw Top' talking to YOU! And your success created a crap factory, just a sea of kids A billion Brayden's and Cayden's, tag team legit You made it cool for people to think dweebs could spit So for those of us real ones, who had to swim through a league of shit? Eat a dick And I'm not talking about the ones who force multi's and copied your style I mean the ugly guys who think that they have confidence now Watch money get dropped from this inflation, I'm trading dollars for pounds I'm like Rosenberg Raw: catch me eating once this plate gets off the ground And you might think I look the way that Chris Unbias acts But I'm the tech/TEC guy Not 'cause I let lead fly, just 'cause I supply the facts Everyone knows what you've done on camera Truth be told, I'm fine with that But we should share the other stuff and see how people might react Like, "What don't the fans know about Peter Morris?" How 'bout the fact that your last chick was a fat bitch named Kia Sportage? And when you split, she got the crib She still made you keep the mortgage I'm sure you feel exposed right now, but I promised not to leak my sources Minnesota Luke told me! So now that you super-died, I should be receiving the crown If people doubt what I'm about, well, they're believing it now If it's a rooftop, skyline or hotel in any scene, I'll get down I'm top-tier...as long as there aren't too many people around! [Round 3: The Saurus] Sometimes it's not what I say, it's the way you got told Ancient god mode, you can't take the weight my thoughts hold First two? I pulled back, how you aim a crossbow But I'm done cutting you slack: the tailor shop's closed! I paved a long road for you to claim stake beside it How do you make time to battle, AND play bass for Primus? I'm the son of an animal: James Laurinaitis State your name, rank and serial: your fate's been decided! You dying, homie, bounce, I'm the guy they told you 'bout The ghostwriter for all ten of Kevin Durant's troll accounts I hold things down, homie: I been the kingpin This a body from the jump...it's wishful thinking You whiskey-drinking, missing-link-looking hick, try your luck! I'll light you up then put a round like a Friar Tuck Now I'm not saying the guy's a thug But yeah, he's out supplying drugs I mean, Matthew McConaughey played his life in Dallas Buyers Club That's an AIDS joke, Brett, but it ain't no stretch This 'bout to be a more painful step than a Lego set Homie you get forgotten now, you better check the lost and found I only helped you get this off the ground just to drop you down Time!