Hankering

Song Meaning

In "Hankering," Rufus Wainwright captures the peculiar tension of anticipation, a state of suspended animation fueled by hope and a touch of desperation. The song's core revolves around waiting – specifically, waiting in a mundane cafe, a setting that amplifies the feeling of being stuck between moments. This isn't just passive waiting; it's an active, almost frantic stillness, marked by repetitive actions like refilling coffee and rereading old magazines. These rituals become a way to manage the anxiety of the unknown, a way to fill the void while yearning for a specific, undefined event. The repeated line "over and over and over and over" emphasizes this cyclical, obsessive nature of anticipation. It's a beautiful, agonizing loop. Wainwright infuses the song with a sense of both weariness and devotion. The lyrics hint at a sacrifice of sorts, a willingness to endure the drabness of the cafe-"I've let them play grunge all the day"-as a testament to the object of his "hankering." The reference to Proust's "le temps perdu" (lost time) adds another layer, suggesting a longing for the past intertwined with the hope for the future. Is he waiting for a return, a reunion, or simply a resolution? The ambiguity is key. The cafe becomes a liminal space, a stage where the past and future collide in the present moment. The mention of calling the whole thing off if he sees another roach suggests there is a breaking point to the waiting and anticipation. The paradox of "Hankering" lies in the simultaneous feeling of control and powerlessness. The speaker busies himself with trivial tasks, seemingly in control of his immediate environment, yet utterly dependent on an external event to break the spell. The final declaration, "'Cause it's over, I belong to you," is both a surrender and a claim. It suggests that the waiting itself has transformed the speaker, binding him to the object of his desire. The song is a poignant exploration of how anticipation can shape our reality, turning ordinary moments into charged encounters with hope, fear, and the ever-present possibility of disappointment. The song meaning ultimately revolves around the push and pull of longing.